So you've seen the dementia dimensionally, now see it lay pipe on cable. Tonight at 10/9 C the MTV will be premiering jackass 3
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Burbank, California 2010)
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June 15, 2013
June 14, 2013
photo of the day: amanda's cornhole
Spring has since sprang and summer can now be summed up in one word at Dickhouse: Cornhole! Now I don't know much about the origins of the "cornhole" game—or anything else for that matter—but I've been told it started in Ohio and then migrated south where it gained in considerable popularity. Since then, however, it has tainted our taint and we've been tossing bags with competitive abandon day after day after night after night. I'll delve more into the Dickhouse leagues and team rosters as the summer progresses, but for now I'd like to simply spotlight the skills of Amanda. She's what could be termed as "wildly inconsistent" and can hit as much as she misses, but boy oh boy, when she misses she really fucking misses. This shot marks what may in fact be her wildest, most inconsistent miss ever, so it was immediately documented by Johnny Knoxville for posterity. A certain percentage of alcohol may be blamed for said shot, but that excuse can only take you so far for so long and this toss just came up ridiculously short. Good job, Amanda! Now go to 15.
(Photo by Johnny Knoxville; 2013)
June 13, 2013
happy birthday to steve-o!
Bad case of the crabs? Bayou fashion victim? Who gives a shit! Today is Steve-O's birthday so we're transmitting an image from wildery days of Wildboyz
(Photo by Dimitry Elyashkevich; Louisiana 2005)
June 12, 2013
photo of the day: chris pontius
Okay, so I said we'd be back to dicks today after yesterday's extreme vaginal departure, but instead I bring you butt. Hey, it's not like I promised you a rose garden, so get off my back, jerk! What's special about this particular photo—aside from its centerpiece being one of the more awesome humans around—is that Jeff Tremaine often cites it as one of the moments when he knew he'd truly made it in life: To be able to film your friend running around bound, gagged, and dressed only in a thong and then present it to the masses via the television on a show titled jackass
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Los Angeles, California 2000)
June 11, 2013
happy birthday to ryan dunn
(Artwork by Phobik)
the vagina drawing contest
While out to dinner the other night with Knoxville, Dimitry, and Amanda, we decided to have a vagina drawing contest. I know, sounds weird, seems all we like to do is focus on the male genitalia, e.g. dicks, balls, and such, but earlier circumstances dictated otherwise and Knoxville decided to put us all to the illustrated test—primarily myself, as I'd somewhat botched a drawing of a vagina the night before. I have my excuses, good ones, I think, but no one had their listening ears on and didn't give two shits what I had to say in defense, so we each received a small piece of paper and pen and went to work on a leveled playing field.
Needless to say the results speak for themselves, but I'm an admittedly biased dick. So, with that in mind and starting at top left, we have Amanda's "interpretation" of a vagina. Though she has one of her own, you really couldn't tell it from the drawing, which Knoxville went on to aptly describe as a "desiccated apricot" (I would've given her the benefit of a halved dwarf papaya, but to each their own in describing crude renditions of spoiled fruit). Next up, at top right, we have Knoxville's entry—a classic bush and navel scenario, and, I have to concede, one of Knoxville's truly better scrawlings (you'll have to trust me in this as I've witnessed a number of his painstaking efforts over the years—he was so proud he even signed it!). Bottom right is mine, where I believe to have redeemed myself from the prior night's fiasco (which just so happened to unfortunately take place on a poor girl's upper arm), and yes, I do pay attention to the details, as witnessed by the inclusion of the perineum and other lady bits; However, Dimitry and Knoxville both accused and/or dismissed me of going home and doing some online studying, but you know what? They can go fuck themselves. Anyway, Dimitry's is the last at bottom left and it does nothing but underscore his Russian heritage. It's wild, it's wooly, it's 100-percent baBUSHka to the '70s tee.
But there you have it: the results of the 2013 Dickhouse Vagina Drawing Contest, which ended in a hotly contested debate that no doubt annoyed several other restaurant patrons. Tomorrow, rest assured, we'll return to our regularly scheduled parade of dicks.
(Photo by Johnny Knoxville; 2013)
June 10, 2013
history lesson: the blown away guy
In honor of Ryan Dunn's birthday today, I've held onto this clip that was posted a few weeks ago on the Interweb spotlighting the history behind "the blown away guy" from the Maxell advertisement. This was, of course, the inspiration behind our situating Dunn behind the engine of an Aero L-39 Albatros jet fighter in jackass 3D
We miss you, Ryan. Not a week goes by in the office when you are not quoted warmly and fondly—my personal go-to favorites being, "Who gives a shit?" and "Eat that dick", but "N'awesome" is oft uttered as well.
(Photos by Sean Cliver; Camarillo, California 2010)
June 07, 2013
photo of the day: chris pontius
Ever since we started up the official "Dickhouseworld" Instagram account these "photo of the day" posts may seem redundant at best, but then again dunce is our unofficial middle name. So without ado, adieu, or a doo-doo, I'm more than happy to present this little—no, make that never ever before seen shot of Chris Pontius getting a scorpion makeover in the cuts of Thailand on a discarded Wildboyz
(Photo by Dimitry Elyashkevich; Thailand 2005)
June 06, 2013
wiener vision? wiener health!
Remember how everyone was so grossed out when Bam Margera was chasing them around with his peeing wiener in jackass 3D
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Agua Dulce, California 2010)
June 05, 2013
no, it's the mashed potatoes—not the beehive
Remember the first time you stuck your penis in a beehive and realized that perhaps it wasn't the best idea? No? Not surprising. Even our dumbasses know enough not to insert your penis into one of those. Okay, yeah, I can see where the concept of a "honey pot" might sound enticing—especially if you've the marginalized gray batter of say, oh, Winnie the Pooh—but at some point during the insertion process surely a few Darwinism alarm bells are likely to go off and be accordingly heeded. So, although it made for a wonderfully charming evolutionary tale about the culling of the human herd, this "news story" about some sweaty Swede doing the dumb dicky deed and made dead was indeed a hoax. However, it would make for a great title in Helvetica Bold, don't you think? I can hear Dave England saying it now... "Hi, I'm Dave England and this is the 'Beehive Sex Toy'." Although the odds of that happening now are a pubic hair slim to absolutely fucking none. After all, he was pretty chapped about being stung up after playing "Beehive Tetherball" on jackass 3D, the movie that took a critically acclaimed upwards dump in the third dimension! Watch it now
(Photos by Sean Cliver; Florida 2010)
June 04, 2013
meter fairy fallout
Generally speaking we are upstanding law-abiding citizens, give or take what happens behind closed doors in the neighborhood of Sunset and Gower on occasion, but it would appear we really stepped across the thin blue line during the run of the late great jackass TV show
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Portland, Oregon 2001)
May 31, 2013
sneaky nuts!
Did you hear the one about the Australian politician who had to publicly apologize for accidentally liking a photo of a teen's nuts? Embarrassing, for sure, but you really gotta cut this Wollongong some slack. After all, the poor fella got snookered by the old "sneaky nuts" trick, where one slips a down under peek of testes on the down low. The Wildboyz
Extra, extra, read all about shit that surpasses the news now: gawker.com
(Photo by Jeff Tremaine; Kenya, Africa 2004)
May 30, 2013
the original big brother desk art
Now what you're looking at here is some real Indiana Jones shit, and I'm about to take a hard—so hard—left turn down Memory Lane. These framed fragments represent some of the last remaining artifacts—aside from the few people themselves—of the third Big Brother office incarnation located at the ex-World Industries warehouse on Nash St. in El Segundo, California, circa 1993–1996. Late '96, when World Industries decided it was going to make a run at being run like a real company, the Big Brother
No sooner was the gang out the door of Nash when the reconstruction crew swept in to relayer all the old, scribbled upon desks with brand new, pristine Masonite tops for the worker bees. Five years later—or thereabouts, give or take—the revamped company relocated to new, bigger digs, and the post-modern Vietnam chic interior decor was trashed. Luckily, OG Big Brother editor and skateboard artist Marc McKee
Let's break the beat, leftover lumber down, starting at the upper left, and trivially work our way clock-wise:
1) Several of Tremaine's desky doodles were the launchpad for full-scale paintings that typically then found their way onto skate- and snowboards for companies like Prime, Foundation and Division 23 (the chameleon was actually used in part on both Prime and Division 23 boards). On the far left, however, is a portrait of Rick Kosick by me, Sean Cliver, which was actually one of many that was done during that time period because he was very popular source material whenever boredom was at play.
2) This afro rendition is mine, perhaps influenced by Tremaine's frequent playing of Gil Scott-Heron
3) No, that's not Cordell Mansfield, but rather another early neandertal man known as Daniel Dunphy, another former artist in the World stable. This drawing commemmorates the one (and only!) night we went out drinking with Daniel—who was not a drinker by any stretch of the liver—and he proceeded to puke until he blew his eyeballs out. No joke. The next morning he came to work sporting red where the whites of his eyes used to be. It was awesome! Hence the red Sharpied eyeballs.
4) A Tremaine caricature of Sean Cliver's profile. Yeah, not too proud of my nose, but it is what it is and doesn't physically equate to anything else unfortunately.
5) Aside from being a Tremaine, there is absolutely nothing else worthy of note about this elephant. It was a one-off in all senses ... an anticlimactic one-off at that. So, in the almighty sign off frequently used within our pages at the time: Fuck off!
(Photo by and courtesy of Marc McKee; 2013)
May 29, 2013
knoxville on newdaynewdick.com
If anyone can appreciate a dick drawing it's definitely me. Like, if I suffer penis envy it's usually because I'm green over someone else's phallustrated ween. So it was with several shades of chartreuse that I was turned on to newdaynewdick.com, where none other than Johnny Knoxville was given the deluxe drawn dick treatment on May 6, 2013. You can find him and many other pop-culture, clever, and just plain dicky dicks, all served up on a one-a-day basis by "A Person" for your creative cock consumption.
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