Several age-old riddles come to mind with this latest jackass 3.5 tidbit, the first being that little woodchuck tongue-twister: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Only in this instance it would be: How much wood pecker could a woodpecker peck if a woodpecker could peck wood pecker? Tongue-tied or not the answer is "a lot"—or so we deduced after experimenting in the name of science by putting Chris Pontius's pecker on the pecking line. Good thing we had Mister Merlin on ornithological hand, too, or we may never have known how many pecks it takes to get to the center, a/k/a urethra, of a wooden penis pop.
Dwarfed by weird science? Baffled by unexplained mysteries of the bird nerd world? Who gives a shit, I can't stop laughing at Ryan Dunn's "Eat that dick" line: http://www.joost.com/jackass3.5
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Chatsworth, California 2010)