in memory of ryan, pt. 3—knate and spike jonze

Here's the one I thought of the morning when I found out Ryan had died: It was on the Europe trip, a bunch of us were having drinks one night in that little lobby bar in the London hotel that was all purple velvet decor—soooo Bammy. Anyway, Dunn was holding court for a bit, talking about all his troubles a few years ago and how f'd up he was, and then how together and happy he was now. Showing us pictures of his new house, talking about how grateful he was for being out here, for Angie, and for everything in his life—just in a really good place. He was in a really good place this whole last movie, and he was just kinda reflecting with everybody for a minute and it was real humble and cool.

"I've accomplished everything I wanted out of life, like way beyond my wildest dreams. Anything from here on is just icing," talking like that. And then for real Dunn says, "Seriously, if you find out that I died tomorrow, I'm fine. Do not be sad for me, 'cause I'm not sad. I died with a smile on my face."

That night stuck with me, 'cause he was always such a genuine guy and you know he really meant everything he was saying—and man, you hope you can say that same thing one day and mean it like he meant it that night. So when I found out that morning, that was the first thing that came to my mind. I'm just glad he said that and glad I heard it and wanted ya'll to hear it too.

—Knate Gwaltney

I love what Knate said about his conversation with Ryan in Europe. I had a similar night with him when we were all on the hotel roof down in San Diego after the Comic Con party. It was a perfect night: it was warm, we were all so happy to almost be done with the movie, the screening of the clips from the movie couldn't have gone better. Trip [Taylor] was talking about how crazy it is that we had been doing it for ten years and telling stories of the first season. I think a lot of us were feeling a little emotional because the movie was coming to an end, and Ryan was sitting there on a stool happy as a bear. He was talking about all the things he was working on and he talked a lot about Angie and how she had stuck with him through his dark years. When he spoke about her, he was so in awe that she was with him. I wish I could remember his exact wording, because he was always so damn funny with how he spoke, but in that great self-deprecating Ryan way he said something to the effect of "What is she doing with an ugly idiot like me?" He laughed and I could feel how much he loved her and how grateful he was that she was in his life. He had a real peace about him.

The other thing I think of when I think of Ryan is how big his heart is and how thoughtful he is. I think he helped give our group and everything we made a lot of its heart, too. When someone was hurt, he was always right there, seeing how he could help. Especially with Bam. You could feel how much love Ryan had for him.

—Spike Jonze

(Bottom photo by Sean Cliver; Hollywood, California 2006)

Comments

[Bryan Lamar <--phoenx, Arizona]

rip ryan dunn been a fan since the first jackass show came out in america

[Molly]

im glad he was happy. RIP

[Stephanie R.]

<3 Much love to you all

[tina kyle]

I miss you ryan.. love jackass

[Dahia.]

R.I.P. Dunn. I'll never forget you! ♥

[nayeli]

i love dunn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss u!!!!!!

[Jarek]

It's so sad that Ryan is gone. I didn't knew him but i have tears in my eyes when i read this, R.I.P. Ryan and Zach!!

[bryce]

RIP bro massive fan of you and i hope your in a good place .....

[arielle luis alapide]

thank you for making us happy because of the crazy stunts that you do! RIP

[Patty]

All the best to Angie... it´s great to hear, that he found his love... my thoughts are with you Angie. Never give up!

[tomnejeschleba <-- CZE]

The love from Ryan is obvious from his eyes. He was such a great and funny guy, RIP ..

[Guilherme]

Here in Brazil when i know, i cry, he was a great man, a great actor! Be in PEACE!

[YAN-N@hotmail.com]

r.i.p ryen . love jackass

[Berker Buğur]

Rest In Peace Random Hero... You'll always live in our hearts, and screens with your life-changer movies. We love you so much, Rest In Peace.

[JohnnyKnoxviIIe]

Wow. I seriously still can't believe he's gone. That comment "Seriously, if you find out that I died tomorrow, I'm fine. Do not be sad for me, 'cause I'm not sad. I died with a smile on my face." made a little bit better. Been crying all week, I can't imagine home horrible and heartbreaking it is for you guys. Ryan was a great man. Rest In Piece Random Hero.

[Lauren]

These memories everyone is sharing are all so fantastic. My heart breaks for Angie and Bam and everyone who had the sincere pleasure of calling Ryan a friend...but it's good to know he was in such a good place and was so happy with the way his life was going.

[Whitney McMahan]

This was such a great article. It brought tears to my eyes because when i watch you guys on tv and on your movies i could tell that he was very happy and its so sad that he is now gone.

[kylepod]

forever loved and never forgotten. glad to see he was happy.

[Xander]

Rayn was the best, we all mis him very much

[benx]

I love Ryan Dunn

[Bean]

it's been a week, and it still wrecks me knowing he's gone. may you Rock in Peace Ryan, know that you are missed.

[Bryan C.]

I have been reading each post for the In Memory parts, I feel sorry for all the People of Jackass and for Ryan's family and Angie. Im glad he was in a goodplace when this happened. I too have lost a friend to a car wreck. It hurts to read how much love you all had for him and how much he had for you all. He will always be with you in some way and us, his fans, will always miss him and suppport you all.

Much love guys.

[Marlbo Man]

♥ R.I.P ♥

[Babi Svanadze]

<3 <3 ((((

[patyfan]

Ryan loved like a brother bam they formed a beautiful double kidding ready and together they got along very well and all the jackass I also love and admire very much the feeling tõ also miss him and know he is a good place God won a trophy taking it you're single and Dunn insubistituível jackass will never be the same without you and your joy to know that I love you very much and I will always love you

[Katharina]

I still can't believe what happened. I'm now 27 years old. You guys were at my side my whole youth. When "Jackass" aired on German televison, I recorded every single episode.
And then I gathered my best friends around me to watch it together.

I always loved it, that you all are so close to each other. That you're doing all your stunts/bits side by side.
So, that's what Jackass is about! Ok...besides that "being-stupid"-thing.
Just kidding! It's about friendship, having fun together, laugh together, sometimes being rude to each other.

So many different kinds of people...coming together as a big family.
I know, that Ryan will be missed. I know, this time is just too hard to get through. I wish u all the best and much love to come through this...together!
As you did everything before!

My love to you all.

[beth]

Rip Ryan I love that u guys r sharing ur stories bout Ryan even tho they make us cry but gives us all Insite into his life that we as fans didn't get to c/ hear on the screen he was truly a blessed person and b forever remembered and loved by many!

[Liz Rodriguez]

Ryan will truly be missed by so many. I am a huge Jackass fan and love everything that has been created. Jackass won't be the same without Ryan, he will forever live on in all of our hearts. <3

[Engraciazinha]

I am Brazilian and I love your work! Ryan forever!!!And has nothing to cure the lack it does! Forces for you, we will all be cheering

[Engraciazinha]

Ryan... forever.... i love you

[Andy Williams - London England]

Lovely memories, and as he said

"Seriously, if you find out that I died tomorrow, I'm fine. Do not be sad for me, 'cause I'm not sad. I died with a smile on my face."

RIP Ryan

[Patsy K.]

My brother and sister said similar things before their deaths, it gives me an inner peace to know Ryan felt the same way, I wish everyone would feel like that before they pass on. And if my sister, brother and Ryan happen to find each other up in heaven I can promise you that jokes are being said, pranks are happening and laughter is being howled. Ryan is in good company and he has good people, not only to remember him here, but also where he has gone to hang out with. Ryan was always my favorite CKY/Jackass and will be missed. My heart goes out to his family, his Angie, his friends, and the people like me, his fans. Forever missed and never forgotten <3 RIP Random Hero!

[Aidan]

Hearing about Dunn's talk with Knate, and his feelings of his life helps me understand how at peace Ryan was with himself and what he's achieved.
It's pathetic, I haven't been into Jackass as long as a lot of people (been fan since about 2009), but the news of Ryan's crash made me almost want to cry. I don't even know why! Nothing makes me cry. That's not some macho bullshit, it's true.

All I can say is; you guys, all the crew from Jackass were lucky as shit to know Dunn. Not to mention the great friendships the series and movies has forged between you all. I must admit, I'm stupidly jealous.

Anyhow, I'll end this novel now by saying; Good luck to everyone and may Ryan and Zachary rest in peace.

Cheers,

-Aidan.

[James Hardwick]

Thank you Knate!!Cu

[charles polk]

We will miss him he was good shit

[Dreasweetweets]

I loved this blog. Thats how we want to remember him. Happy and at peace. Humble and loving. My heart goes out to Angie and all his friends, family and crew. Most people dont get to record so many memories with the people they are close to in life. You guys have the best memories with him! <3

[Heather]

When I first heard ryan had died I went into an instant state of shock. I remember watching Jackass growing up and all the laughs it had brought. And as I grew up everytime I was having a bad day I would pop in Jackass or Viva la bam and I would just laugh and laugh and it would make me feel alot better. I send out my condolences to all of ryan's family and friends. He is now in heaven making everyone there laugh there asses off like he did when he was alive. His memories will live on and will be in our hearts forever. R.I.P Ryan. Missed by many and loved by all.

[Keylan Ryan brockman]

Rip Ryan Dunn; one of the best of jackass.

[Claire]

quelle tristesse ! Merci de nous avoir tant fait rire ! <3

[jazmyne]

R.I.P ryan dunn been a fan since u guys came out. GOD has bigger plans 4 u in heaven

[Aixa Pagan]

From Puerto Rico, we really miss you Ryan... ♥R.I.P.♥

[Ashley Canale]

I am completely devastated that Dunn is gone. I grew up watching every step of his success. Watching him, and the rest of the jackass crew, for years, since the beginning, made me feel as if I knew them. Not only am I heartbroken because I am a huge fan of Ryan and Bam, but Ryan and Bam have a relationship like me and my beat friend--who also passed away in a car accident 6 years ago. I feel for Bam, and the rest of Dunn's family, friends, Angie, and fans alike. I've been told I was a loser for mourning his death, being told that I didn't even know him personnally. I've gotten into arguments with people because they were disrespecting him by only talking about him being 'drunk'. That just pisses me off, hypocrits! After seeing Bams first interview after this, I could relate so much to his pain, that I broke down in tears because at that point, I felt the pain of losing my best friend again. I, along with millions are saddened by this news. I haven't stopped thinking about it since it happened. I hope Ryan and Zach both rest in peace! They will be missed dearly.

[james williams]

fuck man everytime i see jackass or something that has to deal with stupidity i start to cry R.I.P Ryan Dunn

[Dave Britton]

I know the show says don't try this at home but in my early teens I went bought a camera and started filming me and my friends doin stupid, crazy and funny things after seeing CKY, to this day those were the best days of my life, you all inspire me to make somethin of myself but none as much as bam and Ryan, the love was clear between them and I like to think me and my friends are as close as you all are. love to you Ryan, thank you for everything, I promise to mention you everyday and when I have kids ill make sure your memory lives on with them. to all the crew, thank you for being there throughout the most important years of my life, made me feel like I am actually normal.

[Remy pergande]

Hey everyone...my name is remy..i was in my car at 8:45 when i heard the news. The lady on the radio said " we have bad news for the jackass world" then she paused and said ry ryan dunn has passed away...my lady was in the car with me and i stopped..my heart almost stopped. Ryans family and the jackass crew and mostly bam came into my mind. I began to cry and my lady said wtf is wrong with u..I am 22 years old now..Ive been skating and was a dedicated die hard fan of cky and all of the first videos dunn and margera did. I was 13 years old when i seen ryan first jump into that huge tank of shit..lol i remember ryans face from that video always ..just stop what your doing and think about it.....made you smile i know:) I must say even thoi never knew ryan or any of the squad...i felt like he was part of my family..all of you guys are and i have to say much love and respect. We love all of you guys with the jackass familly and my thought and prayers go out to dunns family and april margera and phil and bam and thee rest that had the opportunity to know him!

[Jake]

Ryan R.I.P. Jackass won't be the same without you.

[SUSAN SCOTT]

HE WAS A GREAT ACTOR, HE WILL BE MISSED, JACKASS WON"t be the same with out him but i must go on it is what he would want! RIP RYAN WE ALL MISS YOU AND LOVED YOU.

[Djou]

Rest in peace Ryan! Go have fun at paradise big!

[Mryan12]

Thank you Knate and Spike. That's awesome stuff to read. He's missed.

[Dafe]

Thanks Knate and Spike for sharing. I still can't believe he's gone. It's been 1 week, and shit still sucks...