in memory of ryan dunn, pt. 8—derek freda

I have so many memories of Dunn. And all of them immediately bring to mind a smiling, laughing Ryan, always that mischievous sparkle in his eyes. It’s hard not to smile thinking of him as I write this. Here’s one that’s always been really personal and significant for me, now even more so.

A little over nine years ago, on a weekend in the spring of 2002, we were shooting the open to jackass the movie. Dunn was nursing a bad wrist, having had a pin inserted not long before to help heal a few bones. We took what precautions we could to help him protect himself, including building a fruit stand for him and everyone else to leap into to help break the fall. (For his part, Ryan didn’t seem too worried.) The launch from the shopping cart went off great—a little too great, considering all the guys actually flew over the fruit stand and landed in the crash boxes behind it. As everyone untangled themselves, Dunn emerged holding his wrist in obvious pain.

We immediately put him in an ambulance. I jumped in with him and headed off to the nearest hospital, which happened to be in a somewhat rough part of downtown Los Angeles with an ER that was understaffed and overflowing people. After checking in, I asked Dunn when the nurse came out to evaluate him to please not be a hero, to tell her exactly what he was feeling so they could get him proper care. Not to mention the fact I knew from experience ERs tend see people on an as needed basis, so if he brushed off the injury there was no saying when we’d actually get in to see a doctor. Soon after, the nurse appeared. I briefed her on what happened, and when she turned to Ryan he basically said, "It’s nothing, I’m fine, these people are worse than me, I’d just like some ice.” Not really how we rehearsed it. They brought the ice, and it would be seven hours until we’d finally get to see a doctor.

A dingy ER in downtown LA is not usually the place friendships are born, but that day I got to do what any of Dunn’s friends will tell you was the best way to spend a day with him: for the rest of the day and well into the night, we sat around, swapped stories, told each other dumb jokes, lit each other’s cigarettes and just shot the shit. We talked about pretty much anything and everything you can think of—everything except work—effortlessly the way old friends would. He asked as many questions as he answered. As so many people mentioned at his memorial in West Chester, Ryan had the ability to make you feel like you were the most important person in the room. He was always disarmingly present when you talked to him, looked you in the eye and really listened. Hanging out together, the hours flew by. So it was almost an unwelcomed interruption when the doctor finally came out to see him and take X-rays. By that point his wrist was swollen badly and his fingers were turning into little grey and purple sausages. When we left the ER, somewhere around midnight, I felt like I had known Ryan my whole life.

In the months and years and movies that followed, we developed our own silly little ritual greetings.  Whether it had been months, days or just hours since we last saw each other, we’d give each other a not very manly hug and peck on the cheek (I’m a lot taller, so mine was usually on the side of his head, his somewhere on my neck), followed by something like, “How the hell are you honey?” … “Awesome sweetie, good to see you” … “Can I bum a smoke dear?” … “Of course darling.” Just silly banter with genuine affection that meant the world to me and made every day a little better.

So many of my other memories are just as simple: driving in the van talking about relationships and his beloved Angie, telling jokes over lunch, hanging out at my house and sipping a beer during the Super Bowl when, as others have mentioned, he was so happy, so together, so excited about the present and future. The truth is it didn’t take much to create a fond memory with Dunn; he was one of the most genuine, unaffected, decent people I’ve ever known and just being around him made you happy.

Still, I can’t say how important that one day in the ER was for me, then or now. Because back then, in the early days, I still felt like the new guy in the jackass family. I was still getting to know everyone, and even though I appreciated and respected and was even a little in awe at how unique it was—a brotherhood that goes so much deeper than making a TV show or movies—I couldn’t presume to be part of it. Ryan changed all that that day; knowingly or not, he invited me in, made me feel right at home, genuinely appreciated and a real part of the family. And it’s been my home and family ever since and I wouldn’t trade a day of it, not even a day as heartbreaking as this. Without Dunn, I’m not sure I’m ever here. Without Dunn, I’m sure it won’t ever be the same.

With all the good fortune we’ve had, I’ve often half-joked that jackass has convinced me that God exists … and that he must be a fan. Even with this tragedy, I’d still like to think that’s true … and that Ryan must be his favorite.

I’m going to miss you more than words can say, honey.

—Derek Freda

Comments

[Lauren]

all of these posts are so great. no offense to the rest of the jackass guys, but ryan was my personal favorite. almost entirely because of his laugh. it was so full-bodied and contagious that i was often sitting on my couch watching him, laughing just as hard. i would have loved to have met him. and all of these tributes give me such a great idea of the awesome person that i was sure ryan dunn was. i've got all you guys in my prayers. take care.

[Matt]

Another great post.Much thanks for sharing those memories with the rest of us.You can tell what kind of life someone lived by the number of people that can share so many great memories about that person.Without a doubt,Ryan touched alot of people just by being who he was.As for the opening scene from the first movie where they're riding the cart on the bridge over the L.A. River?One of the best of all time!

[aneta]

i totally enjoyed this beautiful text.
thanks for sharing :-)

[Molly]

this story was truly touching. thank you so much. RIP Dunn.

[Sandra]

Great story. Thanks for sharing.
RIP Ryan...

[Richard]

I didn't even know most of the Jackass crew's names until I heard about the recent news of Ryan. It's really odd but I have only recently began watching a lot of the Jackass stuff and I am utterly confused as to why I am so sad to hear about this chap's death. I mean, I don't even know him in person, and I only started paying attention to Jackass a few days ago but geeze I am honestly to say, sad. I have been thinking this through (secretly, as my wife would think I am going nuts). I have figured that I am so touched, and so sad, because this guy is amazing. He is the person I strive to be - no, not a person that does stunts, but someone that lived his life to the full, with passion, compassion, laughing, and freely. Like I said, I don't know the guy, and maybe I am just going nuts or have a mid-life crisis, but I am sad and the reason can either be due to the fact this world has lost a little bit of greatness. On the other hand, I did read somewhere on the internet once that sometimes people that have learnt everything there is to learn and taught everyhting there is sometimes just just leave us. I guess Ryan had done his job a lot quicker than most of us (enough religious talk anyway!). RIP Ryan Dunn, your fan forever, and also in my crazy head, your friend forever, RL.

[J.B]

biiiiiiigggg LIKE!!

[miguel adames]

Honey.... so so sad, I feel your loss! my condolences again.

[Tash]

rest peacefully ryan. all these stories are really touching, and it makes me wanna be more like ryan (even though im a girl) just be as genuine as possible, and treat people like he did and really welcome them with open arms. Ryan is defiantly an inspiration.

[Robert B.]

This was a great tribute Derek. Very heartfelt. Thank you for writing it, and RIP once again Ryan.

[jordan beecham]

thiss was nice thing to read it is a shame he has gone but we will be with him soon

[AUTUMN]

i think its wonderful that you and Dunn had a real bromantic relationship <3 never forget the love, the stories, and the friendship.

[concerned]

I am glad he did not kill anyone with his reckless behavior.

[CStylee]

all of these posts are so great! even though it's been 2 weeks since his death people are still posting stories and condolences with regard to Ryan...he was my favorite probably because of his humble genuineness. my favorite Dunn moment was when April Margera asked Dunn why he had just branded his friend on the ass and his response was so funny and deadpan...he said "cuz it seemed like a funny thing to do". LMAO! RIP Ryan

[CheweyLov]

After all these Great Memories I "Almost" Felt Like I Knew The Man Myself... Have Been A Fan Of JackASS From Day One... Mr Dunn Will Be Missed RIP Brother From Another Mother ;)

[Okccuttie]

Another great post!! Thanks for sharing your wonderful memories with us! R.I.P DUNN GONE BE NEVER FORGOTTEN!!!

[Laura Z]

With every new post here, we feel we know Ryan the person better and better. This one might be the most eloquent yet. You guys are all so blessed!

[Florencia]

I don't know what to say... very beautiful.. thanks so much for sharing these memories with us. Love u all

[jhonatas]

ryan duun sempre estara em nossos pensamentos como um ídolo um amigo ..um herói ele [e o cara sempre fara falta no jackass... jackass numca sera o mesmo sem ryan duun.........thanks ryan duun

[Dude]

Ryan Dunn was one of the best.... (Sorry Dunn, I still like Johnny Knoxville... He's a fellow statesman-I'm from TN). I loved his facial expressions, and his laugh. He always seemed happy whether he was joking or getting hurt..... I will miss you Dunn.......

[Dawn]

Thanks for all the great stories you guys have. I enjoy reading every one of them and look forward to the next one. I'm a huge fan of all the Jackass family and will still remain a huge one. Not going to be the same without Ryan. Or any of them gone. My thoughts and prayers go out to Ryans family and his Angie. RIP Ryan Dunn.

[Liz]

aww that's a beautiful story I'm glad you guys are sharing your stories about Ryan I enjoy reading them. He truely was a genuine soul.

[Tiffany Modica]

that was really nice

[Lauren]

Every time I think I'm done crying, one of these amazing tributes pops up and I'm in tears all over again.

'“How the hell are you honey?” … “Awesome sweetie, good to see you” … “Can I bum a smoke dear?” … “Of course darling.” Just silly banter with genuine affection that meant the world to me and made every day a little better.'

So SO sweet. Dunn seemed like such a gem. And the whole ER story is such a fond memory to have.

Lots of love to the Jackass family <3

[Dori]

I love reading all these posts about Ryan. He was my favorite and I love watching all the Jackass Movies and shows. I have watched since they started and just watched Jackass 3.5 the night before Ryan passed away. My family would always tease me because I was so infatuated with Ryan Dunn (the scruffy guy with a beard). They always asked me why he was my favorite. I would just respond by saying that there was something about him that I couldn't explain. Now I know what that was from reading all these posts from his friends. He was genuine! My heart goes out to all his family and friends. I am sure it will take some time to get through the loss of such a great man.

[Adam]

Very well written Derek, I miss Dunn as much as I've missed anyone else in my life and I never even met him. I've been watching the boys since before they were the boys, in the CKY days. I can honestly say I've never been shook so hard over the death of a celebrity. Dunn was my friend in my mind, he always came off as such a genuine dude and I will always remember him, despite not having ever met him. RIP Ryan, miss you buddy.

[art]

Ryan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jennibenni]

its a terrible loss for any of his family and friends and i sympathise with them all... its terrible how someones reckless manner to life as now caused such pain to others............ rip ryan xxxxxxx

[Mario]

never knew the guy in person, just a very big Jackass fan, it was an honor being able to watch him on tv. hearin the tragic news made me feel like if one of my own family members passed. R.I.P Ryan, we will miss you

[Brian Hughes]

It's sad that most people did not get to hear these special stories while he was still here. It saddens me that it takes the loss of someone for the world to discover how amazing he was as a human. I didn't know Ryan Dunn personally, but our paths crossed on two occasions. The first time was in a bar in West Chester. Everyone wanted to get their picture with him or an autograph. I knew who he was, but I felt weird going over to him and bothering him. I was having a bad day (work related) and I'm not sure if it was evident or what, but he came over to me, bought me a beer and bs'd with me for about 20 minutes. He changed my outlook on a lot of things in that short time. Our paths crossed a second time and he came up to me and I was surprised he remembered me. He asked how my job was going. I told him I quit the day after he talked to me. He laughed, shook my hand, and laughed again. Thanks Ryan

[Danielle Paris]

I absolutely love reading all of these memorials written by Ryan's friends. I love all of the personal memories and stories they all have to tell. However, they make me even more sad that this great person is gone and that I never got to meet him. He was genuinely a great guy, a sweet soul that left this world too soon! I guess the saying, "only the good die young" comes to mind with every one of these posts! I never personally met Ryan, but I always felt like I knew him. He was my favorite Jackass and now I know why! Even through TV and movies, his sincerity and genuine personality shown through! I love you Ryan and will miss you forever. Until we get to meet in Heaven!
Love,
Danielle from Alabama

[C_taylor33]

That was beautiful.

[Ashley Quates]

I want to first start off by saying how awesome it is that you guys are sharing your stories and memories of Dunn with everyone! I have to honestly say that while I love each and every member of the JackAss crew, there was just something about Dunn that always seemed to catch my attention. I think it was the fact that he just seemed like a really genuine person who had a big heart and there was alot more to him than just the prankster side he showed on the big screen! And it proves to be true. It's funny how you can tell a lot about a person just by their mannerisms or whatever. Anyways I just got done reading all of these memories about Dunn and like halfway through the tears started. I couldn't believe that here I was crying my eyes out about someone I had never met in my life, only saw on tv. And thats when it hit me. I lost my best friend 4 years ago and he was exactly the person you all claim Dunn was. Meaning he was genuine, accepting, loyal, caring, always there for you no matter what etc etc. With that being said I know exactly what all of Dunn's friends and family must be going through to the fullest extent and realize what a terrible loss everyone is suffering. Just know you all are in my prayers and thoughts daily! I know its hard in this time of mourning and its always going to hurt no matter what you do but keep a smile on your face and remember the good times you got to share with him because thats what he would want you to do! It'll get better I promise you that!

Ashley
-Q's BBQ Orlando-

[Eric]

It's obvious dunn's his (God's) favourite, he just had to take him all for himself.

[Mellerz21]

In the all the Jackass stuff and in interviews I've seen Ryan do, he looked like a fun, crazy ass guy to be around. All these stories about him are showing that was true. It's also paying tribute to him and his life in a beautiful way. It's awesome to see how he touched the lives of all these guys who seem macho and invincible to those of us watching thru a tv or movie screen. I still get bummed out every time I remember he's gone...but he will definitely never be forgotten. <3

[shaza]

yet again another awsome post and at least knoxville finally made it over the la river lol RIP RYAN!!

[DrinkMilk]

I really, really wish I had the chance to know Ryan and become friends with him. I could always tell from the movies and interviews and everything that he must be a blast to be around and that he must be one of the most awesome people ever. He was just so funny. And you could really tell he cared about everybody. Well, all of you do. That was a great story and I'm glad I read it. I love the, "I'm going to miss you more than words can say, honey." :') I feel so sorry for all of you. Stay strong you guys. <3

[Charlie Hardingham]

Thank you for sharing these personal stories and letting the fans of this great man see it all! I am so sorry for the loss of all his family and friends. He always seemed like an amazing guy and watching him on screen and watching other things he did was a pleasure and an honour! Thank you Ryan for being the person to make an entire generation smile and now you can look down on us all and have the best view in the house! xxx

[Thomas Horning]

wish you all the best in excepting the loss of your brother. hold us not in judgement for our mistakes and see us for our achivements.

[kristin proust]

awe i love these but there so sad , i read about him and watch the videos and shit and i makes me miss him more R.I.P Ryan Dunn

[maximum]

r.i.p ryan dunn will never be forgoton

[Charlotte Johnstone]

I read this whilst listening to Bob Dylan's Forever Young and I'm crying my eyes out, This was a really beautiful tribute to him.
God how I miss you Ryan <3

[Grzesiek]

have passed 2 weeks and I'm still so sad ...
RIP Ryan ...

[bonbon]

loved that text!
<3 <3 <3

[danay3d]

RYAN DUNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BETSH AUN NO ASIMILO TU MUERTE SIEMPRE TE RECORDARE HASME REIR DESDE EL CIELO FUERZA ALA FAMILIA Q.P.D BESOS RYAN ;)

[Toni]

Ryan seems like he was an unbelievable friend and a special part of all of your lives...So sorry for your loss....R.I.P Ryan....

[Knoxville fan]

So, so beautiful and touching, thank you.

[Audrey-Fan]

That was really nice. Every time I read stuff like this about Dunn, I don't wanna cry, even though he was one of my favorites, all I do is smile. Some people say he is a bad person and say that he chose the life he lived. No one asks to live the life they live. Everyone makes mistakes. No one's perfect. From all of the things I've read about Dunn, he seems like a really good person, not a drunk, which some people say he is. From what I watched on Viva La Bam and Jackass, he seems like a really nice person. He made me laugh the most when I would watch those things, aside from Don Vito. Anyways, I love ya, Dunn. Rest In Paradise. <3

[Mryan12]

And...that made me cry. Thanks for sharing your memory. xoxo

[Sarah]

Great story...very heartwarming...