Next Monday, October 3rd, brings an all-new episode of Ridiculousness to MTV with its further Dyrdekian explorations into modern man and his seemingly Darwinian search for immortality on the Interweb—this time around with a little guest help from martial arts dude Matthew Mounce.
As for that aforementioned hint of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, fans of the series can look forward to continued fanning in 2012 as MTV has ordered up a fifth season. The premiere date is yet to be determined, or "TBD" should you prefer a shorthand life FTTFB* with acronyms. As for me, myself, I'd rather COD** than LOL, but to each his acrimonious own.
There are things we've done over the past decade that are oftentimes forgotten until I have to go shoveling for shit in the photo archives. This is one of them: a real slice of unseen cherry pie featuring Dave England as a super sketchy sketch artist working the tourist beat. Unfortunately, Dave did too good of a bad job, and the surprise was often—nay, always—too much for his clientele when the on the spot and off-the-fucked-up-cuff masterworks were finally revealed. For example, this rendering of a man and older woman that had stopped their Saturday afternoon stroll down the strand to pose for what Dave promised to be a memorable moment captured in art. Critics have long debated "What is art?" ever since artists first started farting around, but on that day Dave's was deemed to definitely not be it by every single mark. Anyway, segments never look that hot when blurred beyond all recognition, so the "Sketch Artist" was soon booked on a one way trip to a cornfield just outside Mianus where it resides to this day.
I may have screwed the pooch when I got Suckerpedia'd™ into thinking it was Lance Bangs' birthday earlier this month, but I'm serious as dog dirt that today is in fact that celebratory day of Bam Margera's. Happy Birthday, Bam!
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Agua Dulce, California 2010)
I've got news for you:Season 4 of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory has been pressed, printed, encoded and strategically produced and is ready to be shipped to you, the digital video enthusiast. Here's a textual whiff if you just so happen to be a MTV box copy sniffer:
"The Fantasy seems endless for Rob Dyrdek and all of the employees at Dyrdek Enterprises in Downtown Los Angeles. Season 4 kicks off with the return of Rob's good friend and former bodyguard, Christopher 'Big Black' Boykin, co-star of the beloved MTV hit series, Rob & Big. Big Black is welcomed warmly into the Fantasy Factory ensemble, moving into his own office in Corpo to run his business, BB enterprises. Along for the adventure once again is Rob's cousin and bonafide mini-mogul, Chris 'Drama' Pfaff, the king of the awkward jungle, Scott 'Big Cat' Pfaff and the blonde and bubbly, 'rapping receptionist,' Chanel West Coast. This crew, along with all of the employees of Corpo, help to make Rob's insane ideas and ridiculous adventures more than just a reality, but a way of life. Season highlights include Rob and Big Black fronting a death metal band called 'The Bleeding Frogs,' the whole cast invading Mardi Gras to rebuild a skate plaza and ride a custom-made float, Rob helping to transform Drama from a 'Peckface' into a 'Man Dime,' forming a dead serious dodgeball team named 'The Dodging Devil Donkeys' and watching Rob get run down by a 400-pound Bengal tiger. Just when you thought his life couldn't get any more obscure and insane, Rob pushes it all to the next level in this new chapter, solidifying it as the most exciting and hilarious season yet."
Are you up to date on current Australian events, people, and the multitude of its species that can kill you dead? Can you even begin to fathom the physics behind water and its down under swirl when it comes to drains? No clue at all who would win in a fight between Meryl Streep wielding a dead baby and Nicole Kidman armed with Hugh Jackman's leg? Have no fear, the Dingo is here! Well, here meaning on Rob Dyrdek's Ridiculousness couch to talk and toggle through another hot batch of viral videos scraped off the Interweb. Check it and see and then see it in full tonight on MTV at 10:00pm ET/PT.
Do y'all do the Twitter thing? If so, here's one big #FF for you. And no, in case you were wondering, all those pubic hairs you see on Lance Bangs' chest are not leftovers from Danger Ehren's beard in jackass number two. Don't get me wrong, it sure would be neat if they were, but they're not. It's just a dirty-ass scan of an image I found while going through the binders of 35mm slides from the first movie. This was, by the way, one of those seemingly harmless pranks that suddenly went due south and resulted in a run-in with the local constabulary—or, as @BAM__MARGERA would tweet, "and then the cops came".
The Pink Panther has returned so many times now that I've plumb lost count. Granted, we're no Blake Edwards, but man, can you imagine if Dickhouse was given the Hollywood greenlight to reboot 10? Holy hell, I can already see Chris Pontius jogging out of the sea in slow motion, weird hair braid things and all! Wait, where was I? Oh yes... the pink bat. It's back! Only this time it's Jeff Tremaine primarily at the office plate. Yes, you will notice he doesn't exactly hold a candle to Knoxville when it comes to cradling the balls and cracking the bat, but he's still quite the peach when it comes to switch-hitting—oh yeah.
For as much yang as I've talked about the old jackassworld.rip office, it really was a hoot working there on a 9-to-5 basis. Sure the office may have had some issues *cough* asbestos *cough* but then again so did we. So many issues did we have, in fact, that it wasn't uncommon for our days to degenerate into mad, youthful abandon as the office became less a working environment and more a demilitarized playpen. Things really started to take off—or, i should say, break off—when several boxes of small, white plastic footballs wound up on our doorstep courtesy of a bizarre Preston Lacy promotional activity. Those, along with the infamous pink plastic baseball bat, made for our very own private Gaza Strip of terror and delight, the infantile likes of which we did very much like. Me, especially, because I still have a really difficult time remembering how to say, "Would you like fries with that?"
Travis Pastrana. A name synoymous with ridiculous when it comes to seemingly incalculable feats in the action sports realm and beyond. So it's only fitting that he sit in with Rob Dyrdek for an all-new episode of Ridiculousness devoted to the absurd world of extreme activities and the fuck-ups that often go hand in glove (or foot in gear) to befall the soon to be fallen. Beyond that, this is Dylan, you know the drill: Tonight on MTV at 10:00pm ET/PT (and, ohmigod, like hang around to gag on some San Fernando Valley poon with Death Valley at 10:30pm ET/PT).
In this sneak peek at an all-new episode of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, Drama joins the broken hearts club and gets sent off to a "Master Gazer." Make of that joke what you will, but once you do (or don't ... not everyone goes cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs), set your DVR hard—so hard—for the 9:30pm ET/PT time slot on the MTV.
There are words in the English language that do, on occasion, give or take an apple juice or two, sound and look ridiculous. Words like "tidbit". Not only does it sound funny, but if you look real carefully in the middle there's a stubby little tidbit of a penis that's all balls and not much else! Honestly, how much more descriptive can you get with a word that, by definition, means a fun-size portion? If that's what you go in for though, then here's a leftover tidbit from Ridiculousness featuring Johnny Knoxville (by the way, if you missed the episode you can view it in its entirety here):
It's going ... going ... gone? Not quite sure if our special edition anniversary book jackass 10 years of stupid is headed the way of the dodo pasture, but from the not-so-in-stock look of things over on Amazon that just may be the case. So if you haven't picked up a copy yet, best do your online homework and get 'er done now. In the event you have no idea what the Sam Hill I'm yammering about, then consider this an extremely johnny-come-lately* introduction:
We really had the best of intentions for throwing a big coming out party for the book last October, like a full cast signing in a major metropolitan city, but, well, I missed the original deadline and blew that widow of opportunity. Especially once jackass 3.5 kicked in come November, making short work of any other available and/or timely dates. Technically, I guess an excuse for something did go down in Las Vegas during one of Bam's club appearances, but that really was tantamount to farting in a dust storm. Eh, "Say la vee," as the French-Canadian c'est.
Should you have a severe allergic reaction to the printed word, or just not happen to have a coffee table or ottoman on hand to chuck this chunk of shit at, then perhaps you'd be interested in staunching the stupid flow with this abridged iPad version of the book: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jackass-10-years-of-stupid
* Not to be confused with Johnny Knoxville, horse cum, or sunscreen, but hot damn—I just may have to go watch that again now. Never fails to bring a smile to my face watching that sombitch happily slather up his face!
Whatever, the guy wrote a bunch of big books. But he did have a great opening line once that goes, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, blah, blah, blah...", and I believe the same can be said for the jackassworld.rip years, circa December 2007–December 2009 (although it had, for all official intents and purposes, given up the office ghost in late September 2009*). Looking back now, it's a wonder those years even took place, but for those that eked out a salary then it was a godsend that they did. Just the same, it was an odd purgatory of sorts that we dwelled in between the jackass 2.5 and jackass 3 productions (with a 24-takeover thrown in for good promotional measure), and at times it did feel like a cruel and devious social experiment: Take eight or so dudes of varying degrees of arrested development and temperament, place them in a garishly painted subterranean office space with only one window to the outside world and a flea infestation, and see who comes out swinging first. It had all the earmarks of a blisteringly dumb reality television show, but instead kept to itself on the Interweb—probably a good thing, too, all lives and sanities taken into consideration. Anyway, we're all better now, but back then it really was aces wild on any given day ... as the video below will attest.
* A few here may remember that fateful, confusing day in late September when the office came apart at the seams in mundane "Cloverfield" fashion just before the 24-hour live web cam feed was cut for good.
Whenever people find out I'm a cog in the great machine that is jackass, they tend to ask, "Does anything ever bother you or make you sick? Like was there anything you just couldn't be around or watch?" The answer, I'm proud to tell them, is no. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Okay ... sure ... there was that one time on the "Playgirl Pontius" shoot in 2001 that got a bit wild and wooly and a hasty retreat had to be beat (then again, so did Knoxville, so I feel vindicated in that it was only right and natural to do). And then I did retch and gag a bit at ground zero during Steve-O's "Porta-Potty Bungee", but c'mon—not to mix a megatonnage of metaphors, but that was straight up Napoosaki.
Perhaps the closest I've ever come to "losing it" was while squatting in the claustrophobic and swampy confines of the "Sweatsuit Cocktail". There, yes, I did feel a queasy swell rising fast and hard—so hard—however, I still contend this was primarily due to the Knight Library night before and not the sweaty morning after scene.
So, having seen and laughed through it all, my camera lens all up in that shit, what exactly does bother me? Or am I now such flawed and tainted goods that I have no humanity left to speak of? The answer, I'm proud to say, is no, because this particular video and its corresponding audio remix is straight from the shit pits of hell and disturbs me to no primal end. Enjoy!
If MTV was more about Monopoly than music, then Rob Dyrdek would be the title holder for Park Place and Boardwalk on tonight's programming block. But first, let's address the all-new episode of Ridiculousness at 10:00pm ET/PT, in which Big Black takes up a big chunk of the co-host couch alongside Chanel and Steelo Brim. Okay, now that that has been addressed with an always awkward doubleshot of thatness, let's move on up to 9:30pm ET/PT for an equally all-new episode of Fantasy Factory. That's right, Season 4 resumes its roll out as Rob, Big Black, and the Pfaff Bros. beat around a digital bush in the recording studio while trying to find a Ridiculousness theme song. And since we're moving back and forth through time tonight, don't forget to keep an eye out and a limb off for Death Valley at 10:30pm ET/PT.
