dickhouse

happy halloween!

Ah yes, Halloween. That spooky day of the year when Glenn Danzig pops up from his personal hell hole in the ground to see whether or not his shadow is cast by moonlight and six more weeks of evil will befall humankind. It's kind of an unspoken tradition, a/k/a "it that must not be named", in these nether regions of the Interweb to pay respect to Danzig in one way or another, so this year let's have a three-way. An homage á trois, if I may commit a minor French faux fuckery, to the man who has always remembered Halloween no matter what his new band may be. First up, this timeless viral gem where Danzig showcases his more sensitive literary side. Gnarly!

Next up, oh shit! It's not Danzig at all! But rather Dave "Carnzig" Carnie showing off his equally if not more sensitive literary side. Gnarlier!

And lastly, the video that made shady propmaster JxPx Blackmon's day when it first hit the super informative freeway back when "www" really meant something ... or at least I think it meant something? Hell, I don't know, all that "http" and "www" shit makes about as much sense to me as the Cookie Monster vocals of death metal. Anyway, it's plain to see who won this fight, but I often wonder who would come out the victor in this hypothetical battle royale: JxPx, armed with 20 rolls of toilet paper and one platform engineer boot, or Danzig, wearing a paisley man-blouse while singing the greatest hits of The Smiths. The fight would take place on Halloween Eve in the House of Pies parking lot at the corner of Franklin and Vermont in Los Angeles.

tonight on ridiculousness.. drama!

To make any sort of Archie Bunker reference would probably be trivially preaching to an altogether different generational choir, but those really were the ridiculous televised days (and if you haven't you really should: click me!). So, cutting to the quick, on tonight's all-new episode of Ridiculousness Rob Dyrdek keeps it all in the family with his latest guest-star, Drama. Here's a preview for your immediate review (10/9 C on the MTV):

MTV Shows

the big ass happy family jubilee celebrates irish sports star joe quaid

This week The Big Ass Happy Family Jubilee celebrates Irish sports star Joe Quaid. Quaid was a professional hurler ... whatever the hell that is. I think it's kinda like lacrosse if all the lacrosse players were half-loaded, but that's not really important. What is important is during a game in 1997, Quaid was hit in the twig and berries with the hurling ball at a very high speed. His right nut exploded on impact while half of the left one had to be removed. According to Wikipedia, Quaid was quoted after the incident to have said "Ouch." Ouch!!! Ah-ha-ha!! That's how you get a tribute on The Big Ass Happy Family Jubilee. Ah-ha-ha... Ouch!! Ah-ha-ha...

Love,

Knoxville  

tribute to joe quaid

mouse over link to play

half-a-nut joe 01

half-a-nut joe 02

half-a-nut joe 03

half-a-nut joe 04

half-a-nut joe 05

 

songs from this show:

Poor Paddy – The Pogues

Amazon | iTunes

Suddenly Single – Waylon Jennings

Amazon | iTunes

I'll Be Damned – Pure Prairie League

Amazon | iTunes

Starry Eyes – Roky Erickson

Amazon | iTunes

It Happened Just That Way– Roger Miller

Amazon | iTunes

Dead or Alive – Lonnie Donegan

Amazon | iTunes

I Believe I'll Dust My Broom – Robert Johnson

Amazon | iTunes

What Have You Got To Lose? – Tom T. Hall

Amazon | iTunes

One By One – Laura Cantrell

Amazon | iTunes

Honk Your Horn – Ray Campi

Amazon | iTunes

Sylvie – Sweet Honey In the Rack

Amazon | iTunes

Clancy Lowered the Boom – The Bono Irish Experience

Amazon | iTunes

How Will I KnowI'm Falling In Love Again–Willie Nelson

Amazon | iTunes

South of the Border (Down Mexico Way) – Patsy Cline

Amazon | iTunes

Tune in every Saturday night at 8:00pm EST and 5:00pm PST on Sirius/XM's Outlaw Country Channel 60. It replays on Mondays at 12:00pm EST; Wednesdays at 8:00pm EST; and Fridays at 12:00am EST.

wistful wildery wishings...

Overall, I'd have to say I am a sad human being. And no, I don't mean that in a sensitive-white-I'm-moving-to-Portland-Oregon-to-live-beneath-God's-leaky-bathtub-and-record-godawful-whiny-folk-music-in-a-dark-and-dimly-lit-room-that-smells-like-a-musty-mix-of-cigarettes-and-eau-de-thrift-store. I'm more of the pathetic sort that if the opportunity arose to have three wishes granted with no bullshit stipulations, world peace would not be anywhere near my fantasy agenda. No, wish number one, right out of the gate, would definitely be spent on infusing my scrotum with cuttlefish-like abilities. To testicually oscillate wildly, that, I think, is a much better idea than that guy who injected his penis with silicone for several years and nicknamed it "The Blob". What a tool! Not to mention a useless tool.

But I'm not a total selfish waste of skin. I still have the world's best interests at heart, because my second wish would be for Danzig's receding hairline to grow back in, and the third would be for a Wildboyz movie. Until then, you can always buy Wildboyz Seasons 1, 2 and 3 & 4 on DVD (back when DVDs really were DVDs and came loaded with a metric butt ton of added value).

mike judge, interviewed by johnny knoxville, pt. 3

Every pot of water has its boiling point and so did every episode of Johnny Knoxville's One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer. The escalating cackle of Knoxville's was always a sure sign that the wheels on the bus were not going to be going round and round mush—mush?—much longer, not to mention the charming sporadic dribbles, as plainly evidenced in the finale to Mike Judge's inquisition.

Curiously, post-interview, his stuporendous state was still able to hold and focus an iPhone on this photo of me, Rick Kosick, Lauren Graham and Mike—a souvenir of production time and money well spent.

Now that you've had a few solid licks of Mike's supreme wit, prepare yourself to swallow it whole with the long-awaited return of Beavis and Butt-head on MTV tonight at 10/9 C!

(Photo by Johnny Knoxville; Los Angeles, California 2009)

Part 5:

Part 6:

mike judge, interviewed by johnny knoxville, pt. 2

Today I'm pleased as spiked pink punch to bring you the second (re)installment of Johnny Knoxville's One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer with Beavis and Butt-head creator and all around mastermind Mike Judge. Speaking of which, if I ever had to rank the Top 5 times I've stood in the presence of greatness, the two or three hours we spent with Mike on this interview would definitely claim the number one spot. The remaining four would be filled by the likes of Danzig, Larry Flynt, Robert Pollard, and Kurt Vonnegut; one of which probably would've been supplanted by George Lucas but then, well, you know, he had to go and make those three prequels and digitally bugger the f' out of the OGs (but damn that man can make sound sound good). Anyway, Beavis and Butt-head makes its long-awaited return to the MTV on this Thursday, October 27th, at 10/9 C. Now on with the (re)show (to be concluded tomorrow)!

Part 3:

Part 4:

mike judge, interviewed by johnny knoxville, pt. 1

With the demise of jackassworld.rip, so went one of the better talk shows known to mankind: Johnny Knoxville's One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer. For any newcomers, this was an ingenious concept of Knoxville's where he would sit down with one of his friends to drink some booze and shoot the breeze. Inevitably things would go slurring south at some point, but that's exactly what made the interviews all the more jolly good fun and real. Over the course of a year or so, Knoxville interviewed Jay Chandrasekhar, Rob Dyrdek, Stephen Chao, Andy Bell, Josh Freese, the Great Khali and his tiny wee-wee, among others, but this one with Mike Judge* was an all-time favorite of mine. And what better time to regurgitate it than on the week Beavis and Butt-head returns to MTV on Thursday, October 27th, at 10/9 C.

This is a 6-part interview, so I'll be rolling out two parts for the next three days. Oh yeah, that's right, I'm good at math and shit. Don't sweat the tech.

Part 1:

Part 2:

*This was filmed in mid-2009 just before Mike's then new film Extract was about to hit theaters; hence the intermittent and unabashed pluggings.

photo of the day: mike judge

 

I'm a big-time theme fanatic, so this week is going to—for the most part—be all about Mike Judge. Why for art, thou ask in stilted Shakespearean fashion? Because this week marks the homecoming of Beavis and Butt-head to MTV on Thursday, October 27, at 10/9C. Before you run off and go thither elsewhere on the Interweb, I'd just like to add that the "Butt Bellows" bit we'd filmed during the production of jackass number two in 2006 (but instead wound up on jackass 2.5 a year later due to a curious prevalence of butty material) remains to be one of the most absurd scenes I've ever had the pleasure to bear witness. Mostly because, as Mike Judge pointed out that day, this is the kind of stuff one normally gets involved with while desperately trying to get a toe into the entertainment business—not when you're already established and at the top of the Hollywood game. Rest assured, though, especially if you're not the self-assured type, that it was all done in the name of science. Like, I'm sure stuff similar to this happens all the time in med school proctology classes ... the only difference being they're not giggling the entire time.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Hollywood, California 2006)

tonight on ridiculousness.. matt schlager!

Apparently this Matt Schlager guy can take a slam. So much so that it has earned him a guest spot on a couch that has co-hosted the illustrious butts of Jeff Tremaine, Johnny Knoxville, and Travis Pastrana. Not bad company, eh? And no, that's not a Canada quip if you're even going to think aboot getting uppity aboot it. You know what also can make you slam? Goldschläger. This one time, while visiting NYC with Tremaine long before he was that Tremaine, I downed a good many of those goofy gold drinks in hopes of pooping out a small, chunky, gold-leaf picture frame the next morning. Instead, I found myself sliding across the hoods of taxicabs and leaping with great abandon into mountains of sidewalk trash heaps. This was all well and good until I slipped and fell in a slick of fresh puke that had just been laid down by Tremaine's friend Danny right outside the door of Max Fish. And, yes, in case you were wondering, this was the exact same night that Tremaine had a store vendor pull a machete on him. That was a ridiculous night, but tonight it's an all-new Ridiculousness at 10:00pm ET/PT (9pm CT) on the MTV. Sneak peep it...

A

Ridiculousness - Full Episodes

happy birthday to spike jonze!

I know today is the special day, but my goodness, so was the pictured day above on jackass 3. There were many within the production that were absolutely green with envy to be in Spike's position—notwithstanding all its friendly fire implications—and I can happily attest to being one of them. Oh, to have been armed, locked and loaded that glorious day (but I really can't complain, seeing as I did have a hand in pelting the original "Human Bull's-Eye" back on the television show)! Anyway, if you missed it this past week, celebrate Spike's birth canal slip 'n' slide by treating yourself to a short, sweet slice of his creative life with Mourir Auprès de Toi (To Die By Your Side). Happy Birthday, Spike!

P.S. Molly, please brush up on your sperm whale knowledge.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2010)

steve-o's european tour

Today marks the official departure date for Steve-O, a/k/a Europ-O, as he takes off on a month-long "Entirely Too Much Information" tour of the Old World. So, if you currently live and breathe within the borders of Germany, Holland, Iceland, France, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Norway or the United Kingdom, and have a keen interest in seeing Steve-O perform his onstage stand-up, here's a nifty list of dates, cities and venues presented in Comic Sans—because where the hell else can you use such a font if not for comedic comedy purposes, shoddy alignment notwithstanding.

DATE        CITY                       VENUE

Oct. 22      Essen, Germany                       Zeche Carl

Oct. 23      Hamburg, Germany                  Fabrik

Oct. 24      Stuttgart, Germany                 Club 1210

Oct. 26      Amsterdam, Holland                Melkweg

Oct. 27      Stoke on Trent, UK                  Keele University

Oct. 28      Coventry, UK                           Casbah

Oct. 29      Southampton, UK                     University

Oct. 30      Yeovils, UK                              Westlands Centre

Oct. 31      London, UK                               Electric Ballroom

Nov. 1       Wolverhampton, UK                   Wulfrun Hall

Nov. 2       York, UK                                    Fibbers

Nov. 3       Wrexham, UK                            Central Station

Nov. 4       Cardiff, UK                               University - Solis

Nov. 5       Nottingham, UK                         Rock City

Nov. 6       Glasgow, UK                              ABC

Nov. 7       Brighton, UK                             Concorde

Nov. 9       Reykjavik, Iceland                     Háskólabíó

Nov. 13      Paris, France                            Trianon

Nov. 14      Antwerp, Belgium                      Arenberg Theatre

Nov. 15      Copenhagen, Denmark               Bremen

Nov. 17      Stockholm, Sweden                  Rival Theatre

Nov. 18      Bodo, Norway                           Kulturheset

Nov. 19      Oslo, Norway                            Folketeateret

Nov. 20      Bergen, Norway                        Rick's Theatre

Nov. 21      Stavanger, Norway                    Hall Toll

(Photo by Sean Cliver; 2010)

"mourir aupres de toi" a new short by spike jonze

Spike Jonze: Mourir Auprès de Toi on Nowness.com.

Every once in a while—no, make that quite often—Spike Jonze will disappear down the rabbit hole only to emerge months later with these incredibly creative little gems. Witness his latest, Mourir Auprès de Toi (To Die By Your Side), a joint collaboration with designer Olympia Le-Tan. Rarely do I hop on a soap box—mostly because I tend to slip and land square on my bony ass cheek—but this short should remind the whole of humanity to support local antiquarian book shops. Nothing beats the sensorial sensation experienced when one enters said shop ... the door creak, the equally creaky floorboards, the visual eye candy of covers galore, and the sheer must and dust of it all. Plus, without fail, within just a few minutes of getting lost in the literary browse I really have to poop, making it the absolute best laxative I know.

a danger ehren triptych

Or dip tick. Whatever makes your tock tick. Besides, it's not like I'm going to get unhinged and go all Bosch on you. But what we do have here is a story told in three succinct shutter snaps. A story of a man boy known for, of all things, landing awkwardly, even in the presence of orange traffic cones up the wazoo and a helmet that would turn the Great Gazoo a deeper shade of envious green. Safety first, you know.

There's not much more that needs to be said, what with these three photos miming 3000 soundless words alone, but I should add that while Ehren was moaning, a/k/a "whinging" if you're English and you daft well know it, Jeff Tremaine was off to the sidelines of the trampoline happily doodling the production minutes away to better reflect the scenario du jour.

Like pink men in black suits? Find front teeth to be a highly overrated bodily accessory? Flip no more and hold on the MTV for another showing of jackass 3.5 on Sunday, October 23, at 9:00pm ET/PT.

(Photos by Sean Cliver; California 2010)

big brother ass past blast back: chris pontius

Great news, Tiny Tim. Here's another ghost from professions past to provide further insight to the wildery world of the Wildboyz. This subscribe ad, yanked from an issue of Big Brother magazine circa 1997, features the original Naked Native himself, Chris Pontius, going commando within the hallowed walls of our former third floor office suite in the prestigious Larry Flynt Publications, Inc. building. One of the great myths about this Beverly Hills tower of filth is that naked ladies parade about the offices all day long. Well, sadly, that couldn't be further from the corporate truth. Photos of naked ladies, yes, lots and lots and lots of those, but not the real flesh pot deal. We found this out the hard way—dress code and all—not long after Flynt acquired the magazine, but we still managed to create our very own microcosm within the greater Flynt cosmos that defied all house rules and/or logic. It was "Bizarro Flynt", you could say, and instead of naked ladies we quite often had naked Pontius. This may or may not have been one of his infamous closed-door "make-up" days, but I'll be damned if those shorts didn't slip off just the same to review the even more infamous Soap Shoes of the time. Never forget! The belt, I mean, never forget the belt or you're not an accredited Naked Native.

Do memories make you want to go back, go back? Ca plane pour moi? This Sunday, October 23, MTV will be airing jackass 3.5 at 9:00pm ET/PT.

(Photo by Rick Kosick; Beverly Hills, California; 1997-ish)

the making of cathy's camel toe

Foam! That's it. It was made of foam. How's that for the shortest, most unenlightening "making of" ever? What is extra-special about this foam, though, is that it was taken and fashioned by Tony Gardner, the man behind the special effects house that has been doing our old man make-up ever since Irving Zisman took his first mischievous 90-year-old steps on the jackass television series in 2001 (and, if you've a flair for the trivial and previously mentioned, Tony rocked the zombie house way back in 1985, long before it was the fashionable thing to do, with his classic work on Return of the Living Dead). So there you go, that's Cathy undressed. As for her mental make-up ... well, that was all Spike, but even he looks back on that day and wonders what was really going on within the slow-cooked confines of his brain that day.

Aficionado of front butts, camel toes, and things that go bump on a lark? This Sunday, October 23, MTV will be airing jackass 3.5 at 9:00pm ET/PT.