From the tiny Potemkin villages I construct out of words on this site, you may have already figured out I list to the dumb side. But apparently I'm super goddamn stupid, too. Yes, genious that I am, I've made a slight numerical error. No surprise, considering I dropped out of algebra to fart around more with art in high school, but you'd still think I'd be able to properly read a statistic considering there's no real math required to do so. The long and the short of all this nonsense being, what I first read as over 1,000,000 page views was actually over 10,000,000—a slight difference, no*? Stupid no comma having number... [see Exhibit A].
Anyway, no sense crying over spilled milk—cow, goat, soy, almond, breast or lactic whatevs—especially when I have the power to point toward our online apparel store and decree a re-discount be given to re-commemorate our re-realized stats. So, here's what we're gonna do:
Over the rainbow? Truly gone fishing? Too many toys in the attic? Well, hold that urge to defecate because today we're joining the ranks of so many other commodity purveyors to offer you, the Dickhouse enthusiast, this special "Black Friday" deal of a lifetime: Starting now, at 5:00am PST, we'll be offering a 48-hour discount of 10-percent off all Dickhouse soft goods (sales ends on Sunday, November 27, at 5:00am PST). When prompted, enter this promo code: BLACKFRIDA
* Your face!**
** Laugh your ass off on that, Dania!***
*** It's days like these I do really miss that dysfunctional jackassworld.rip community spirit.