who the hell is shanna, anyway?

The other day it occurred to me that many of you may not even know who this Shanna person may be. She's no stranger here, of course, what with the birthday cake, short jokes and something else of sociological value, but she still may remain an enigma to those of post-jackassworld.rip descent. So today I'd like to shed a bit more light on Shanna, because if you look closely you'll even spy her getting a near lap dance from Wee Man in the credit scroll on jackass 3 during the breakdown in "Afterworld" by CKY. She is, in fact, one of those nebulous "producer" types that holds down the fort at Dickhouse proper. During the holy-shit-we're-still-rolling days of jackassworld.com though, Shanna had her very own Interweb talk show entitled The Purple Pony Chronicles, where she invited special guests to address questions posed by sexually repressed, obsessed or just plain crazed members of the then jackassworld.com community. (By the way, how ya like me now, Flux? Yeah, that's right, I see where you are now ... nowhere! Ha! See you in the cornfield motherFluxer!) So, for the sake of an example, here is Chris Pontius filling in for Shanna on one such program. It's a beast of a time suck, but if you love Chris like we love Chris then you'll certainly set aside some time today for this enlightening and sexy journey down the rabbit hole of his cleavage and, quite possibly, wind up loving yourself in the process...

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Comments

[nab]

lol

[lisajackass]

HOT

[Laura Z]

I remember being completely gobsmacked at how genuinely knowledgeable Chris is about the female form. He'd have made a bitchin' gynecologist. I'll bet he'd even warm up the speculum first (vocabulary word of the day!).

[Atkins]

Nice!

[Laura Z]

(Except that he mixed up "episiotomy" with "hysterectomy"... that could spell some very bad news for someone...)

[Mara]

I'd let Pontius have a go down there.

[Reut]

Go pontius !!

[EarthquakeformerlyFatbastard]

Well -- GUY NE _- With the help of the RED Wings announcer and a little guidance from Pastrana and Nitro Circus-- We will continue on --- When it hit absolute Zero -- On the Dark side of the Moon -- And Everything went pitch Black -- There was a Timeout Called -- The Little Fat Kid sitting on the sidelines watching the football game ( He blinked his eyes ) So did the Referees , They all Closed their eyes for a moment of Silence , A prayer was said by the Little kid , because He said it was still his birthday ---- so they let him say a prayer---- He said "where the hell is my Free shit at" , so anyways BACK to the TIMEOUT called, Well the referees they went to the REPLAY BOOTH , which put the game in the Mormon's favor (But really , it was an instant replay of the 1st quarter where the White cappucino drinkers were playing against somebody else), then the Timeout was called and after everyone closed their eyes , they opened them , and It turned out the Mormons and Catholics and Baptists and Jews were playing Jackass and Nitro Circus and Pimp Daddy's and MTV and the Skaters and GAMERS , Hence a FULL RETARD ( otherwise known as a FULL HOUSE ), oh and it's still in CHECK and at that time There was also PULLED OUT THE INFAMOUS BULLSHIT CARD FROM MIssouri , see Missouri they'll fuck with ya , but they'll also leave you a BULLSHIT CARD , BUT THE GAME isn't over , anyways SO We have here a FULL RETARD --- Where the CHristians are playing football against the Rowdy BUnch , Oh and for the moment , EVERYONE looked over and There was Drew Carey part in Bobble head in a pink Barbie Corvette -- He sped by so fast with 5 lovely ladies , HE Said FUCK THIS SHIT , I'm going back to Texas(CANADA) , of course at this point everyone's in Bobble head mode so no offense EVERYBODY's Bobble heads were ringing , OH what did the announcers say ? THey said -- the Little FAT KID has something to say --- "Freedom is not Free, but I'd rather be in fucking Afghanistan with no flack jacket and half naked for real , than be watching this fucking football game " BECAUSE THE FAT KID REALLY WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE , but some Motherfuckers were trying to kill him ( THEY had BLINDED HIM , TIED HIM UP , and MADE HIM Squeal of course that's loaded too , because then you have the other fuckers who are really trying to fuck with shit too) then we come back to who is smarter the old guy or the smart guy , but that's the problem there are 2 options , which both suck and aren't right either AND THE FAT KID IS STILL THE FAT KID Loaded with shit - and the kid looked again , and He was a fat kid half naked with out his armor or flack jacket , because some bastards took it from him BUT We all know , there are NO RULES in Fantasy FOOTBALL or FANTASY CHESS So anything can happen even though the Fat kid has his head up his ass ,

I'm separating this Part, because it's a reversal COURTESY OF THE BACKYARD WRESTLING MATCH GOING ON DOWN THE STREET FROM THE FOOTBALL GAME where they will explain that this is probably BULLSHIT TOO -- and there's still yet another team waiting to come onto the scene , where are the cops ( some cops ) , down at the donut shop gettin lucky while the mexicans and fatties and whoever else fucked the fat kid over , WELL courtesy of the WRASTLERS -- Well the Fat Kid otherwise known as "EARTHQuake" aka the white SHARK aka CYCLOPS -- well he's wrestling about 500 white midgets with rental property (don't take that the wrong way , not all midgets are created equal either) , trash cans, and wheelbarrows , who beat the fuck out of a little helpless kid and tried to LASSO him and YET MORE LEASHES who don't like anybody involved in the FOOTBALL GAME EITHER <

SO really the FAT KID aka EARTHQUAKE is in a whole world of shit WITHOUT JACK SHIT so anyone can help him out , instead of the MIDGETS TAG-Teamin Him

[EarthquakeformerlyFatbastard]

GUY NE -- SADLY ENOUGH the Fat KID is ROOTING FOR THE JACKASSES and the Retards FAT KID JUST GOT UP and repeated after DREW -- FUCKIT -- I WANT A FIESTA for my birthday and the Weatherman broke in-- We might be getting Halloween for Christmas , HELL It's anbody's game HELL we'll just make up a fucking Holiday (there's a pun, I think it's called that, that goes with that but we won't go there) We'll call it RUMBADUNGA that's a new Holiday , It comes in early December Stay tuned Kid said screw Vietnam , you wanna go screw vietnamese women and eat rice , go to vietnam , you wanna TOOT YOUR HORN , Go over to Norway , YOU WANNA PARTY with your BALLS OUT , Go with the Jackasses

[Katie O'Neil]

"No matter how big your penis is... its not going to be bigger than a baby." I find that oddly comforting.

[Laura]

Wow this is hilarious.

[JoyJoy]

....taking notes....

[Jena Zermaniac]

HAHAHAHAHAHA i love chris

[shannon]

this is actually really intrestin and funny gud :D

[Susan Loren]

oh yeah this is still a riot

[Pera]

Rohit Posted on Very true. The first thing that struck me about this indinect when I read it in the newspaper was that this could very well be me. Till now I was happy thinking that I am in Mumbai and not in Delhi / Gurgaon / Noida and hence much safer. But this came as a rude shock to me. May they RIP.

[Yisel]

Posted on As a fan, I want the Super Bowl to be between the AFC Champions and the NFC Champions. I want to see a cotesnt between teams that have already won something, not just The Number Two Seed versus The Number Three Seed. Throwing out the conferences and divisions and just going with the 12 best teams by record may be more fair, but it would also be more confusing and less entertaining.

[Abed]

adrian Posted on pero que pc necesitamos para crreorlo en sus mejores graficos y otra coso no iran a hacer como con el 4 que sale primero con unos graficos de la mierda y ya luego ponen un parche

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