You may know him as Murray the Moderately Sober Elf, but we know him better as Chri$ Nieratko and boy oh girl-on-girl does this post bring me back to the days of Big Brother and working in Larry Flynt's tower of filth in Beverly Hills, California. Truth told, I never did see much in the way of porn stars or moderately hot sluts walking the halls or headed up to the 9th or 10th Floor in the elevators (I did once bump into Ray Liotta, but I'm not sure what he was doing there and I've never really cared to see him naked—poop, yes, but not be naked). The closest I ever did come to seeing anyone in the building on the frontlines of porn it was the man who worked security on the ground floor at the base of the elevators. He was a really nice guy, always happy and joking around, which isn't something you normally find in security guards—especially for a bank that shot straight up to the offices of a legendary man once openly fired upon and paralyzed. Apparently this man had a really, really big dick, the length of which earned him the nickname "Tripod". I always wanted to be called "Kickstand" as a kid, but I never physically lived up to that moniker and, if I had, it probably would've lead to a leathery life in rough trade or S&M circles. So it goes.