...but I totally missed out on celebrating World Goth Day. Rest assured, it's not for lack of awareness. No, not by a long, dark—so dark—shot. I may wear colorful clothing on the outside (when and if I absolutely have to wear clothing), but you can trust me when I say I've always felt black on the inside. So why the supremely late flag? Well, for one, it fell on the exact same day as the one-year anniversary of the Joplin, Missouri, tornado disaster, and I didn't wish to disrespect Preston and the residents of Joplin with a blogjam. And then, on Wednesday, it was like, hell, I'm already late one day so what would be so bad about two? Because if you're gonna be late, you might as well be wholly tardy.
But is it just me or does it seem vaguely oxymoronic for goths to celebrate anything in the first place? Doesn't that go against all dour principles and aesthetics? Then again, I come from a gloomy time and place not known to modern malled mankind ... long before Hot Topic (NASDAQ: HOTT—9.95 +0.28 as of 11:51am EST) had sent its tendrils deep into the recessed pockets of suburbia to lure mirthless teens out of the darkness and into the retail light. Quite the marketing coup and cornucopia of cynical conumdrums, if you ask me. But don't. Instead, perhaps ask yourself this: What would Robert Smith do?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make this monster of a mortal coil in the toilet. With the lights off.
Looking for "The Hearse" in all the wrong places? Best check this lost and found box of dust bunnies, dildo leavage, and other digital dandruff: jackass, volume 1
(Photo by Sean Cliver; West Hollywood, California 2000)