...but I totally missed out on celebrating World Goth Day. Rest assured, it's not for lack of awareness. No, not by a long, dark—so dark—shot. I may wear colorful clothing on the outside (when and if I absolutely have to wear clothing), but you can trust me when I say I've always felt black on the inside. So why the supremely late flag? Well, for one, it fell on the exact same day as the one-year anniversary of the Joplin, Missouri, tornado disaster, and I didn't wish to disrespect Preston and the residents of Joplin with a blogjam. And then, on Wednesday, it was like, hell, I'm already late one day so what would be so bad about two? Because if you're gonna be late, you might as well be wholly tardy.
But is it just me or does it seem vaguely oxymoronic for goths to celebrate anything in the first place? Doesn't that go against all dour principles and aesthetics? Then again, I come from a gloomy time and place not known to modern malled mankind ... long before Hot Topic (NASDAQ: HOTT—9.95 +0.28 as of 11:51am EST) had sent its tendrils deep into the recessed pockets of suburbia to lure mirthless teens out of the darkness and into the retail light. Quite the marketing coup and cornucopia of cynical conumdrums, if you ask me. But don't. Instead, perhaps ask yourself this: What would Robert Smith do?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make this monster of a mortal coil in the toilet. With the lights off.
Looking for "The Hearse" in all the wrong places? Best check this lost and found box of dust bunnies, dildo leavage, and other digital dandruff: jackass, volume 1
(Photo by Sean Cliver; West Hollywood, California 2000)
There's a Hot Topic in the jungle? Do they sell a "Misfits" machete?
Posted by: Laura Z | May 24, 2012 at 10:28 AM
@ Laura Z, Hot Topic in the jungle sells only black studded loin cloths..and Knoxville, did you steal that suit from one of my clowns?? it's definitely not your size :)
Posted by: JoyJoy | May 24, 2012 at 11:10 AM
I do recollect Sean Cliver's suit fitting quite nicely in this skit..if i had to take a wild guess, Cliver brought that suit with him all the way from his Wisconsin high school graduation
Posted by: JoyJoy | May 24, 2012 at 11:13 AM
After all the articles I've read on this site, the writing never ceases to amaze me, it has got to be some of, if not the best writing on the web!
Also.. is it possible for Johnny Knoxville to ever not look cool?
Posted by: Harvy Singh | May 24, 2012 at 12:51 PM
thanks, harvy! the check is in the mail...
Posted by: dickhouse | May 24, 2012 at 02:46 PM
Just wondering how they go about celebrating World Goth Day.
Posted by: suzi smith | May 25, 2012 at 12:31 AM
Perfect idea for your next Jackass Movie.
Idea: Too fast for the automatic sliding doors.
Cause you run at the door, you crash into it, then the door opens.
Posted by: Lefty Testy | May 25, 2012 at 12:47 AM
gotta love sarcasm...
Thanks.
Posted by: Harvy Singh | May 25, 2012 at 05:09 PM
Why is it that people are so heaitsnt about shopping local? Why do you think Edmonton is so “Big Box” in general? I think Canadians are sometimes unsure of who they are and they’re not as proud of local product as much as say someone from Italy. A lot of people just don’t know what amazing quality we have right here. Karen, C’est Sera, Day 12
Posted by: Urmi | July 05, 2012 at 12:16 AM
Hello webfpojdpt,
do infant factor actually isn't all, emotion isn't all. proksildykh
good fpojdpt!!
Posted by: Bolsos Tous 2009 | September 05, 2012 at 08:54 PM
daorarhwnyf, it which feasible about make one follow to experience about it by a good and distributing unique, quality -Cheap Air Jordans Dis might appear to be ill waterfallz remarkable profession bro ; Cheap Air Jordans kctpwbiu
Posted by: Cheap Air Jordans | September 12, 2012 at 02:31 PM
Vous savez quoi? Je suis en train d'utiliser la feuille de calcul de l'emploi du temps pour savoir si j'utilise bien mon temps. M
Posted by: Diamond Supply Snapback | October 31, 2012 at 07:39 PM
I am sure you will love knock off chanel handbags DOYRMYWa [URL= - replica chanel[/URL - , just clicks away JhtMhUkn
Posted by: KeptFarp | February 09, 2013 at 05:36 PM
get cheap gucci outlet QYBjeUnK [URL=http://www.gucci--online-shop.com/ - replica gucci[/URL - for promotion code HkfHpyBW http://www.gucci--online-shop.com/
Posted by: tutwoove | February 12, 2013 at 10:07 AM
best for you gucci online shop fblxIEAv [URL=http://www.gucci--online-shop.com/ - cheap gucci handbags[/URL - for less rJBkEjvK http://www.gucci--online-shop.com/
Posted by: DaxPeets | February 16, 2013 at 01:44 AM
to buy gucci replica IqLaolnS [URL=http://www.gucci--online-shop.com/ - replica gucci handbags[/URL - online fxQjeVLT http://www.gucci--online-shop.com/
Posted by: fuhreame | February 16, 2013 at 05:11 AM