photo of the century: preston lacy

Hey, ho, let's go! Say, Sigmund, what's the first thing that comes to your iddy li'l mind when you see this photo: Raging Bull? The Anti-Buddha? Boys Gone Wild? For me it is, "I'm Not Leaving," or perhaps a radical faction thereof, because the original "I'm Not Leaving" game, created by Jeff Tremaine if I'm not mistaken, has more of a Mahatma Gandhi-like quality, owing to its 100-percent pacifistic civil disobediance.

Here, let me set a scene: You're in a bar, last call has long been called, and the lights come on, illuminating everything you've never ever wanted from a bar experience. Still, you don't want to go. You want to stay. So when the barkeep and bouncers usher everyone out you simply sit back and get comfortable—real comfortable, like Jell-O pudding settling into a Bill Cosby mold.

Eventually the bouncers will take notice of you and congenially say, "Okay, buddy, come on, let's go." But you don't. You simply say, "I'm not leaving." They might crack a smile at this and ask you to leave once again. After all, it is their right to do so, it's their job and you can't blame them for that, but again you only reply with, "I'm not leaving."

Now they're probably getting a little miffed and hot under the collar of their tight-fitting man blouses. But you haven't acted out in a belligerent dumbfuck manner, so they're a bit confused, too. Chances are they'll now go to grab you by the arm and usher you out of the seat, and again, that's fine, that's what they're supposed to do, they really just want to close up and go home, but this is where you become one with gravity. Be the dead weight. Make absolutely no moves to make your situation more comfortable, nor theirs, and be nothing but Zen about it all. This will actually confound the bouncer(s) even more, as they will literally have to drag you out of the bar by any and all limbs as if you'd passed out. Remember: Bonus points are awarded if it takes two or more musclebound men to lift your carcass and awkwardly muscle it out the door.

Now, once outside the door, here you have the option to: A) Go on your merry way; or B) Give into a greater magnetic attraction that draws you back to your former seat in the bar. The bouncers will have thought their job is done, and, if by the grace of a bacchanalian god you manage to sneak past them like mercury through a pitchfork and back into the bar, repeat the process.

Above all, you must remember the only thing that should ever slip past your lips this entire time is an infuriatingly impassive, "I'm not leaving."

Warning: At some point the bouncers will tire of your dumbass no matter how peacefully you may disobey them and will want to be rid of you by any means necessary, including, but not limited to, choking your ass out and dropping you onto the concrete like the sack of shitty potatoes you've made yourself out to be. Trust me, I've seen it happen, and the concussed results aren't pretty.

To wit and end, was Preston engaged in a little "I'm Not Leaving" antics in the photo above from a night out in Florida during jackass the movie in 2002? Possibly, I wasn't there to witness it in person, but if so he's not exactly playing by the rules and appears to be a poor sport about it to boot. In the event he's not participating in the game though, and going off on his own unruly accord, good show, Preston, bloody good show indeed! 

(Photo by Whitey McConnaughy; Florida 2002)

Comments

[D]

classic rage

[alana]

He pissed his pants!

[Yann]

pee pee spot

[Boober]

I'd be mad too, if my Depends undergarment overflowed...That's why I "stand" at the bar...pissy prick...

[JoyJoy]

look at us perverts..all of our eyes went straight to his crotch to notice the big wet spot..p.s. Preston is sporting "mall bangs" in this photo which that alone is enough to get your behind thrown out..

[patrick allison]

I work at TURN 1 sports bar in Wytheville VA... please come by and do this!!! My bouncers need a work out>>> FxxK THEM GUYS lol

[Travis]

I love how effortlessly they seem to be restraining him.

[Harvy ..who STILL cant sign in via facebook or type pad for some reason!]

The bouncers look so casual about this lol

And this is surely one of the photos of the century! it really is quite frightening.

[Damien]

hahahahaha :]

[Stun Guns For Women]

See like it takes a lot to hold this guy. Whats up with the eyes.

[Mariah]

LOL omg the picture is priceless! And I totally want to see that happen.. you guys should tape it. If you haven't already!

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