I know it's a rather worldly and well cultured lot that comes to visit our little neck of the backwoods here, so I'm simply going to assume you're all familiar with the Dr. Seuss children's classic Horton Hears A Who! without having to get into all the nitty-gritty details of the tale. Well, this one day, on the formal set of jackass 3 and 3.5, we rented the super-duper expensive Phantom HD Gold camera to catch every quiver and tremor possible on Preston Lacy's big beautiful body of flesh. We were primarily planning to do so via a "Kissing Booth", but while Dave England was administering some paint-to-mouth on the speed bag, Preston suddenly hopped up from his seat, reversed face, and dropped his trousers before us all.
Now the tricky thing with the Phantom is that the camera operators need a solid heads up when we're ready to film (a feat all in its own while working with the impetuous jackass cast) as you can only capture mere seconds of motion before it "rolls out" (it's a digital frame rate thing). So most all were caught unaware and off-guard as Preston bent over and farted. Only it wasn't just a fart. It was something more, much more, but not that much more. In fact, hardly anyone realized what really happened. You see, Preston, similar to Horton hearing the tiny Whos, had his own tiny world all unto its own—a poo planet!
Preston quickly pulled up his shorts and exited stage left. I suspected something was up, but couldn't quite put my finger on it until later looking at my photos from the day and noticed an odd, renegade shadow and highlight combo where a shadow and highlight should not be on Preston's ass crack. And, yes, I do consider myself to be an expert on the subject matter, thank you very much. But, sure enough, there was indeed more going on with his butt there than at first met the eye. Now, years after the incident took place*, aren't you glad that it has finally met your eye, too?
Ferris Bueller said it best, I think, or at least he should have said it like this: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss a shit."
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Winnetka, California 2010)