Despite all sloth-ish appearances, Guch is in fact holding a kinkajou, an animal that is neither kinky nor of Jewish descent/ancestry. But what's in a name, right? Like Guch, who is not to be confused with the Gooch (for the ten-millionth time already), or if I was to say "life is for the living" that doesn't necessarily mean that "the vague is for the vagabond." So quit being so goddamn literal all the time, okay? Jesus. Anyway, all irrational impatiences aside—a lot of which I attribute to an inordinately strong caffeine intake and now entirely blame for this runaway train of thought that has all the aptitude of a hot shit viral strain fresh out of the monkey house—today we raise our hats, hair pieces, and herpes-stippled lips in Idol fashion to toast the Day of the Guch. Happy Birthday!
P.S. Don't forget to flip on the television set tonight to catch the premiere of jackass number two on the MTV at 9:00pm ET/PT (with a bring-that-beat-back encore immediately following at 11:00pm ET/PT) and dip your doober in the tweet stream at #jackass2.
(Photo by Dimitry Elyashkevich; Costa Rica 2003)