First, as I've oft quoted in the past, look at the monkey, look at the silly little monkey. Now, everyone, once and for all, please think otherwise. If it helps, think great white shark. Think grizzly bear. Think black mamba. Think whatever other deadly predator that's on the apex or on the down low that you can readily pull out of your Animal Planet memory store. Odd though it may be, somehow everyone forgets the chimpanzee when it comes to being a monumental force of fucking nature. "Oh, they're so cute...", "Oh, they're so intelligent...", "Oh, let's throw one a birthday party..."—that last of which is well recorded and highly proverbial famous last words, mind you.
The Wildboyz and their wildery cohorts, like Wee Man here, are no dummies. They more than proved that over the course of four out-of-this-world seasons, but even then they came dangerously close to flirting with the beast on more than one occasion. Kenya was one such locale, but as you can see Wee Man was taking every precaution necessary, first and foremost the utmost in adult undergarment wetness protection. Wise man, that Wee Man. The other instance, however, took place in Russia, within the confines of the Moscow Circus, where they encountered a number of free range acrobatic chimps—one of which was the size and grumpiness of Cordell Mansfield and another that took off willy-nilly shrieking throughout the stands encircling the arena. I guarantee you that more than a few duodenums almost dumped their big brown payloads when that shit went down.
Why do I even mention all of this? Because of this latest brain surgeon to emerge from the human race. I mean, talk about taking a pit stop in Dipshitsville... getting loaded and naked and partying solo with monkeys in a locker room? Seems like the Darwin Awards narrowly missed another outstanding entrant this year.
(Photo by Dimitry Elyashkevich; Kenya 2004)