Today's flashvacuum from the last days of jackassworld.rip is not only a bit of Wolfie birthday spillover but a long form cautionary tale—of what exactly, I don't know, who the heck do you think I am, Aristotle? Anyway, before I go and finish molding another Pla-Doh penis for my personal in-home Thai shrine, this is what can happen when grown men are left stranded on an island without any windows, polar bears, peg boys, volleyballs, or deus ex machinas in sight. I'd like to say we were all victims of an ingenious prank (or carbon monoxide poisoning), but this couldn't be any further from the truth. So pay heed! Stay in film school and blow a great Greek scholar lest this fate befall you too.