songs about my dick

Once upon a time I came into possession of an MP3 of Johnny Knoxville doing a karaoke-ish cover version of "Everything She Wants" by Wham! I'm guessing it was around 2002 when this ghastly, laughable track first embedded itself into my bloated iTunes library, but it only ever comes up once in a blue moon on shuffle. I only say this because it damn near scares the poop out of me every time it does. Allegedly, he'd recorded it way back in his high school glory days, and while Knoxville couldn't have carried a tune to save the lives of any children in a burning orphanage then, the accompanying vocals by a friend of his are the things that make you want to stuff an artichoke up your ass just to take the pain away from what's happening to your ears. I would love to share this uniquely horrifying experience with the world one day, but until then check out these songs about my dick: http://mydickband.bandcamp.com

P.S. Thanks to everyone who tuned in and tweeted along to the jackass flick re-runs on MTV's "Mancation" this past weekend. Always a treat seeing Chris Pontius's definition of uncomfortable televised, isn't it? By the way, please be advised that any burning sensation while urinating is completely normal and to check out the updated selection of jackass shirts and other soft goods over at: www.popfanatics.com/search/jackass

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Burbank, California 2010)

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