artists talk with alia shawkat and lance bangs

Check your menses and man fixations at the door. Today we go for a walk on the art side with Lance Bangs as he and Alia Shawkat, a/k/a Maeby Fünke on the awesome and soon to be returned Arrested Development, post-modernly engage, interact and interview artists such as Raymond Pettibon, Andrew Kuo, David Choe, FriendsWithYou, Marcel Dzama, and Geoff McFetridge.

Speaking of Geoff in an entirely unspoken fashion, this one time, while at a bachelor party circa 2000, I was hanging with Geoff on the corner of Wilshire and something or other in the Koreatown district when Johnny Knoxville sauntered up to us. He was on his way out, but just at that very moment a carload of Korean gangsters drove by and yelled something that prompted Knoxville to shout something back.

Well, one thing always leads to another (when doesn't it?) and the car abruptly pulled over. Three surly, moderately roly-poly, would-be toughs piled out, at which point Knoxville turned and asked Geoff and I if we had his back. I can't recall exactly what Geoff said*, but I know I looked at Knoxville, shook my head, shrugged my shoulders, and hung my manhood out to dry with a single, "No," that would've made Michael Cera proud.

Regardless, Knoxville still went ahead and took on all three street brawl-style. He could've taken 'em all, too, had he not soon come to the realization he'd been stabbed two times because one of the guys had a li'l blade clenched in his balled-up fist. Knoxville respectfully bowed out at that point, what with the fight suddenly losing its old fashioned hand-to-hand appeal, but he has never let me forget that I didn't have his back. Whatever. I can live with that, seeing as I'm about as useful in a physical fight as a human shield absorbing bullet sprays. Okay, granted, that does serve some practical purpose, I suppose, but hell, I was born a coddled First World cub, a sensitive white artist, and 135-pounds soaking wet, so what more, if anything, can you f'ing expect, aside from gross, heavy-handed misuse of a damn comma?

I rest my case.

* Considering Geoff didn't make any movement to aid Knoxville either, I can only assume he consciously chose to be an objector, too.

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