Okay, so I have to admit to a slight green feeling at present. No, not because I tainted my liver and its other associated innards this past St. Patrick's Day weekend (and, in truth, I only drank Ketel & Cranberries the entire time, so if any coloured thing my interior would be decorated in pure Russian red); and not because I'm anywhere near being under the weather (in fact, I feel healthy as a horse, albeit a miniature Shetland pony). No, it's a classic case of the green-eyed monster, a/k/a jealousy.
You see, I had this idea I'd wanted to do back on jackassworld.rip, where we each would try to poo one color of the rainbow. This would have been accomplished via extensive scientific digestive testing, where each of us ate foods of a singular color to see what emerged on the other end. Now if you've ever heartily eaten of the beet, you know the shocking surprise that awaits after doing so. I've been there. The first time it happened I thought I'd contracted the ebola virus and all intestinal hell was breaking out from inside me to outside me ... but then I remembered the bowl of steamed beets and several glasses of merlot I'd had the night before. Blueberries are another prime matter for scarily colored batter—black-and-blue can be the new brown-and-tan—and then there was this one day I only ate white turbinado yogurt-covered almonds and gave birth to an albino water snake that really freaked me out.
Anyway, the long and short intestinal point of all this being that some other guy went and made some arty crap of a food-based nature and I done missed the shit ship once again. Oh well!
(Photo by Sean Cliver; Orlando, Florida 2006)