Does anyone here remember that clip in the credits of jackass number two where Johnny Knoxville was attempting to leap frog an insurmountable but highly mountable parking meter? He crotch-locked more times than I can remember, but the one thing I do recall is that he walked away from the manic episode with a bruise the size of Pangea on his inner upper thigh. We'd always known he had a most remarkable ability to bruise like an old fruit—an avocado, I mean—but this outsized blemish was beyond reproach.
The only real reason this all comes flooding back to mind now is that last week Knoxville was filming in the office with Jason Jones and Brennan Shroff and he had to do this thing where our friend and cohort Amanda kicked him in his oft kicked and once broken junk. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why Knoxville chose Amanda to do this to him, what with her proven past record of missing the mark in a beyond piss poor fashion (witness Exhibit A and Exhibit B), and sure enough ... she missed again. And again. And again. And no less than 13 more times after that until poor Knoxville was left with this black 'n' blue reminder of 'Manders inability to hit the broadside of a barn. Good job, Amanda!
By the way, if you want to find out why Knoxville submitted himself to this kicking, check out The Daily Show with Jon Stewart tonight at 11:00pm ET/PT on the Comedy Central.