Have I done the hug 'n' kiss shtick yet with Amanda? Ah, screw it. The Simpsons pretty much own that one, so let 'em have it. They deserve it. Instead, let's go with what we know: dicks. While on the road for Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, which can be owned unrated on Blu-ray/DVD/HD digital download, dicks became a staple entertainment while out on the town at night, especially at Connolly's on Fifth in Charlotte, North Carolina, where we pretty much camped out during our two-point-five stays there. Not to steal away any of Amanda's birthday thunder (not that I can, she'll bring it hard—so hard—wherever she may be celebrating today), but people always compliment my cocks, praising the detail and sense of realism I bring to them—particularly when it comes to the veins. Now, looking at my arm, it's no wonder that I put extra-special emphasis in the veins, as it would appear I've gotten nothing but veins. Hmm. Might have to get that checked out; or, at the very least, start whoring myself out at the Red Cross. Anyway, Happy Birthday, Amanda!
(Photo by Johnny Knoxville; Charlotte, North Carolina 2013)