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jackass number two premiere on the mtv

This coming Sunday, August 26th, will mark the premiere date for jackass number two to poke its li'l turtle head out on MTV to smear a bit o' the brown on the Moon Man's silver underpants—and it only took six years to do! Sounds unbelievable, I know, but it must be true because someone other than the Internet told me so. The flick fest will air at 9:00pm ET/PT with an immediate encore presentation knocking on the back door at 11:00pm ET/PT. In the event that a few of the guys live-tweet during the initial broadcast, do yourself a following favor and cover your bases with @realjknoxville, @steveo, @prestonlacy, @iamweeman, @daveenglandshit, @BAM__MARGERA, @rickkosick, @dangerehren, and @jackassworld. No guarantees, of course, but who knows... who knows... who knows.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Hollywood, California 2006)

jackass bingo

It's been a while since I've done something stupid (well, not that long, considering I did recently ask a homeless man where I could find an ATM to withdraw some cash in Charleston, SC), but here's an online stuipd—stuipd?—stupid just for you. Why? Because you are special. A snowflake. A butterfly. That last little turd that hangs on for all its fibrous worth before disengaging to join its big brown brothers below. You get the idea. So here it is: jackass bingo! Simply print it out, pop in a DVD, and play along for no real reason at all in the privacy of your own home, apartment, or squat. No dress code is required to do so, but it is always fun to imagine people watching movies in nothing but their underpants (or, if it's a marathon, in Depends adult diapers).

Fair disclosure: This is by no means an original idea. In fact, I borrowed (stole) the concept after seeing a much more hipster version of it called "Wes Anderson Bingo", but that takes likes smarts and shit to play, whereas this is just dumb and isn't far off from real shit. Plus, because of the sheer amount of crossover content, cast clusterfucks, and peanut galleries galore, queries will surely arise like, "Well, it's throw up and it's Steve-O, so where pray tell do I put my official jackass bingo chip?" In the end, I suggest doing what Jesus would do: Live fast, work with wood, make some fish wine, raise some zombies, and don't leave a beautiful corpse behind. Godspeed and good luck making little to no sense of it!*

* Worst case, you can always tap on the image, print it out, and decorate your refrigerator or toilet lid.

on this day in jackass history...

Dateline—February 24, 2008: Much like the 'Nam, we were trudging shit deep through the night and into the butt-cold early morning dawn during the jackass(world) 24-hour takeover of the MTV studios in New York City. In fact, at this very moment we might have been shivering outside while chowing down on April Margera's pancakes. Or maybe we were sweating it out with Chris Pontius during his manly workout symposium. Whatever the case, we'd lost Steve-O, were on the verge of losing Bam Margera, and dance parties were soon to be the delirious rage as we stumbled toward Hour 24 and the finish line.

We came out of the gate hot and hard—so hard—at noon the previous day. Party Boy had run through streets with several more partyin' boys in tow; Danger Ehren had his hair prematurely ripped out during a Nair cut; Steve-O did his best Ali Boo-boo impression as the "Sultan of Soda" and then later rapped to the terror of many; Bam and Phil Margera went toe-to-toe in weenie feeding; Rick Kosick zapped the cat-walking shit out of Danger Ehren during a spelling bee; Dave England spent life in a cage as a menace to society; Wee Man spent life in a hot dog cart as a menace to society; Preston Lacy was without a doubt the biggest loser when it came to drawing the short bus card in a horrible tattoo game; Jeff Tremaine not only got an earfull of Bronx bum shit but had his ass handed to him in a late-night round of "Dizzy Boxing" with Kosick; and Johnny Knoxville underwent wardrobe change after wardrobe change as he gingerly danced the night away during one of many music video wake-up stints.

Numerous friends dropped by for the sleepover, including Mat Hoffman, Loomis Fall, Scott Manning, Dale Watson, Manny Puig, the Lakai team, Zach Galifianakis, Maximillion "Mr. Gumball" Cooper, and a host of stunty participants, big and small, during the world broadcast debut of Mat Hoffman's Tribute to Evel Knievel (and Knoxville's torn urethra!).

All of this and more now sits locked in a vault somewhere. Perhaps clues to its second coming are buried in the Book of Revelations under a pile of reckoning shit about armageddon, a beast, and 666 other prophesies that couldn't have been more unclear and open to wide misinterpretation, but don't bet on it. There is a highlight show that still sees the occasional late-night rotation within the MTV sect, so enjoy it while it lasts, alright*?

* A musical bone for those who know.

(All photos by Sean Cliver; New York City, New York 2008)

boxing day booger blow out

So it's the day after Christmas. Boxing day to some; discount shopping to others; toilet bowl blow outs for all. Wahoo! Good gravy, did I ever stuff the shit out of my stomach ... only now I'm still waiting for it to pass and go into the porcelain light like a good little Carole Anne, at which point it will most definitely be a joyeux noël for my poor constipation-torn rectum.

Whatever, I'll live to poo another day, so no sense whinging about it now. Instead, let's box the shit out of Boxing Day. And, if I may be so bold, I'd like to recommend jackass: the lost tapes for your optic digestive system. Why this one particular DVD out of so many others? Well, let me count the ways...

1) It came out in 2009, prior to the big brouhahaha brought about by jackass 3D in 2010, so it may not have received the best coming out party possible.

2) It contains (almost) all the loose ends, segments, and transitions from the TV show, as well as numerous never-before-seen loose ends, segments, and transitions that had only appeared on jackassworld.rip.

3) There's this clip with Dimitry and Steve-O that's beyond priceless, making it well worth whatever heavily discounted bargain bin price it's now available for!

Casually intrigued? Easily persuaded? Love "Denim And Leather" by Saxon? Buy jackass: the lost tapes on DVD today! Or tomorrow! Or whenever the uncontrollable urge suits you and your financial instability!

april's new store: the rose hip barn

Earlier this year April Margera opened the doors to her latest venture, Rose Hip Barn, and after 12 years of visiting—and, okay, wrecking—the homes she'd clearly spent so much time decorating it's nice to see her passions for hand-painting and refinishing vintage and antique furniture finally bust out for the masses. While in West Chester, Pennsylvania, a few months back to film interviews for A Tribute to Ryan Dunn, Rick Kosick popped off a few photos of April and her store, so I asked if she could supply me with a few details to pass on to any fans that may be passing through the area.

"The store is in Thornton, PA. It is over 100-years-old, and I have preserved and built a porch and studio onto it. What my daughter-in-law Kelly and I do is redo old furniture, paint it, cut it up, sew cool textiles, basically make cool stuff and curiosities. My mom, Velma, makes gorgeous handbags from Bam's used jeans,and some holiday ornaments that look like the the town of Thornton—all made out of Bam's skateboard ramp ends! We have an orchard out back and plan to have acoustic evenings there in the coming summer. The wild thing about the barn is that we are open every Saturday until Christmas. Then we are only open every other Saturday. So it is more like an event! Our things are so well priced that the merchandise flies out the door and takes us two weeks to replace. For example, we have an awesome couch for $75, wing chairs at $60 apiece, dining sets, gorgeous and redone, for $400. Forget Ikea! You don't have to put this stuff together and it is all made in the USA! A 1940s dresser is made to last."

So there you have it. Now you too can own an April Margera original or simply get your hands in Bam's pants. Check out the websites www.rosehipbarn.com and rosehipbarn.blogspot.com for updates, info, hours, location, photos and more.