dickhouse

a portrait of johnny knoxville, by brian de leon

I'm a firm and hard—so hard—believer in the six degrees of separation and here's why: One of our former co-workers, Michelle Klepper, best known for her guest appearance on the jackass television show as a "baby mama" to negligent father Johnny Knoxville, her father is an art instructor, and he had a former student that did a portrait of Knoxville. See where this is going? Good, because I lost track—rather bad case of the stupids, you know. Anyway, one person contacted the next, contacted the next, contacted, the next, and the next thing you know Brian De Leon is standing in the Dickhouse offices and presenting Knoxville with the framed portrait—a damn fine portrait, I might add, too. Apparently he's done quite a few portraits of other famous types and you can check out his work (and corresponding photos with the actual subjects) on his website: http://beezartworks.blogspot.com

inflatable poo for you to view

Lord knows I wonder about a lot of random shit about shit, but what if when Mike Judge was running air up Preston Lacy's bottom during the "Butt Bellows" segment from jackass 2.5, he actually inflated a lump of poo in Preston's intestine? I mean, that would have been really interstine, right? Anyway, if it had happened, I'm guessing—no, make that wishing, it would have looked something awesome and huge like this fecal-inspired art installation currently on display over in Hong Kong of all places:

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Hollywood, California 2006)

Related articles

you art what you eat

photo of the day: wee man and preston lacy

15 years of gonz & adidas at HVW8

This past weekend, the HVW8 Art + Design Gallery in Los Angeles hosted two nights of "15 Years of Gonz & Adidas" featuring the works of legendary professional skateboarder, artist, and human Mark Gonzales alongside photographs of him by Joe Brook, Benjamin Deberdt, Brian Gaberman, Gabe Morford, Skin Phillips, and Sem Rubio. A number of familiar faces dotted the crowd, including Johnny Knoxville's, which he photographically aligned with legendary skateboard artist Marc McKee (bottom left) and equally legendary professional skateboarder and accordion player Matt Hensley (bottom right). For more photos from this art scene, I suggest you track down Bret Banta, a/k/a Scanboy-cum-Scanman, to see all the man-crush objects of his entire attire desire.

the future is here... and the future is hard!

Not to gangbang a meme, but thanks to the good folks at NASA cock graffiti has launched to a whole new planetary level. Case in celestial point, this sweet penis drawn by one of NASA's two Rover modules tooling about on the surface of Mars. Part of me wonders if the red planet couldn't look any angrier than with this full-blown rager, but another part reflects on the time we sent our own probe to Uranus—well, Bam Margera's anus to be wholly specific.

Should the launch above look significantly different than what you may remember from jackass 3.5, that's because this was our first imperfect emission at delivering a payload into Bam's heavenly body. Apparently there was not enough forward thrust to penetrate his assmosphere, so it was back to the drawing board for a few weeks until a little more oomph could be packed into our pocket rockets. Even then we still had our fair share of limp-shipped misfires, but I hear that happens to every exploration unit at one time or another.

Prefer moon to poon? Have your sights set on Mianus? Explore the sea of tranquility that is not jackass 3.5 on Blu-ray!

Related articles

art sharts: the balls of chris pontius

on this day in jackass history...

emollient substitution is a disputed act of love

how to draw a cock

penis kills :(

bring that bam beat back

penis kills :(

I'd like to say this latest "news story" was just an incidental plate of shrimp, but I must express an increasingly growing and turgid concern that this is becoming something more—much more—serious. Yes, I'm talking about yet another tragic outcome to a penis being drawn on the face of a passed out man. This time it was in the UK and the finality was death—although perhaps not in the way you would have expected. Instead it was an accidental doing, with the victim being the person whom the penis was originally drawn on. Seeing as I'm not some little half-ass CNN bitch, I'm not going to get into all the sensationalistic facts of the story—you can do that right here if you're so inclined—but it'd sure be a real kick in the dead dick to be delivered to the morgue with a penis drawn on your face!

Anyway, maybe it's high time I simply read the signs and switch up the penis with poo. Who knows, at this rate my very life may depend on it.

Related articles

warning: drawing penises hazardous to health

how to draw a cock

a golden egg

Now this takes me back. Not to the future, but deep into the pages of our publishing past with Big Brother skateboard magazine. We always took great pride in presenting the sillier aspects of skateboarding—especially the people, pariahs, and personalities that went out on a non-conformist limb while going for creative broke—and the antics of Jesse James and Chris Atherton would surely have found and left a spot within the contents of Big Brother's underpants.

warning: drawing penises hazardous to health

If we were 2000-late in 2010, then I'm well behind the 2000-late ball on this laughably dicky link about a guy who brutally beat his roommate after waking with a penis drawn on his face. But it's not like anyone ever really comes here for breaking news, right? More like breaking wind to be sure. Luckily this specific case isn't a more prevalent act of retribution, or I'd have likely long been ass-whooped ten ways to Sunday for doing such a thing. That said, I'd like to thank each and every person I've ever drawn on for taking it all in good stride and, quite often and fairly so, for reciprocating the dick-doodling act in kind. Okay, so perhaps not all of yours were as anatomically detailed and turgid as mine tend to be, but we all can't come scrawled correct now can we? Cheers!

Lucky in love? Lazy in links? Click to see dick: http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Related articles

how to draw a cock

mianus could be in trouble!

music video: "she won't a young nigga" by young nigga

There are landmark achievements in life and then there are landmark achievements. I don't know what that means exactly, but goddamn it sound dramatic and shit, don't it? Anyway, we've had our fair share of triumphs in the world of entertainment—you know, bringing things like "The Poocano" and "Butt X-Ray" to big screens in cinemas all throughout the world—and with Loiter Squad's Young Nigga I'd like to think Dickhouse done busted good again. I mean, a llama? a rocket launcher? a Young Nigga's young nigga Jack? Word. Mad love and respect to these props!

Catch all-new episodes of Loiter Squad on Sunday nights at midnight or go rape, pillage, and plunder the booty over on adultswim.com!

artists talk with alia shawkat and lance bangs

Check your menses and man fixations at the door. Today we go for a walk on the art side with Lance Bangs as he and Alia Shawkat, a/k/a Maeby Fünke on the awesome and soon to be returned Arrested Development, post-modernly engage, interact and interview artists such as Raymond Pettibon, Andrew Kuo, David Choe, FriendsWithYou, Marcel Dzama, and Geoff McFetridge.

Speaking of Geoff in an entirely unspoken fashion, this one time, while at a bachelor party circa 2000, I was hanging with Geoff on the corner of Wilshire and something or other in the Koreatown district when Johnny Knoxville sauntered up to us. He was on his way out, but just at that very moment a carload of Korean gangsters drove by and yelled something that prompted Knoxville to shout something back.

Well, one thing always leads to another (when doesn't it?) and the car abruptly pulled over. Three surly, moderately roly-poly, would-be toughs piled out, at which point Knoxville turned and asked Geoff and I if we had his back. I can't recall exactly what Geoff said*, but I know I looked at Knoxville, shook my head, shrugged my shoulders, and hung my manhood out to dry with a single, "No," that would've made Michael Cera proud.

Regardless, Knoxville still went ahead and took on all three street brawl-style. He could've taken 'em all, too, had he not soon come to the realization he'd been stabbed two times because one of the guys had a li'l blade clenched in his balled-up fist. Knoxville respectfully bowed out at that point, what with the fight suddenly losing its old fashioned hand-to-hand appeal, but he has never let me forget that I didn't have his back. Whatever. I can live with that, seeing as I'm about as useful in a physical fight as a human shield absorbing bullet sprays. Okay, granted, that does serve some practical purpose, I suppose, but hell, I was born a coddled First World cub, a sensitive white artist, and 135-pounds soaking wet, so what more, if anything, can you f'ing expect, aside from gross, heavy-handed misuse of a damn comma?

I rest my case.

* Considering Geoff didn't make any movement to aid Knoxville either, I can only assume he consciously chose to be an objector, too.

Related articles

photo of the day: johnny knoxville

songs about my dick

sketches from the national lampoon

So our friend Jesse Merlin, a/k/a Mister Merlin (as he's best known to former disciples of jackassworld.rip and discerning ornithologists with an eye for well pecked wood), is part of an ensemble cast in a theatrical "musical comedy" presentation of Sketches From the National Lampoon that is currently running in Los Angeles, CA, and can be seen front-center-and-Roman in the above publicity shot.

If the "National Lampoon" aspect of the title sounds vagely familiar that's because it's the outfit that has been sowing tasteless, offensive seeds since the '70s, when National Lampoon first started out as a humor* magazine, then broke out big-time (hmm... parallels anyone?) with feature films such as Animal House, National Lampoon's Vacation, the Griswalds' subsequent European Vacation and Christmas Vacation and, of course, the landmark TV: The Movie, and now it's on the stage with musicial comedy overtures and sketch-based vignettes that are loud and in your face with irrepressible, frothy spurts of bad taste.

Sketches From the National Lampoon runs through March 17th at the Hayworth Theater at 2511 Wilshire Blvd., balls deep in Koreatown.

* That's "humour" to all you aluminium sniffing, tea baggers out there.

deconstructionism, featuring the art of chad muska

I really think Chad Muska is an interesting person, and he's always involved with a lot of different projects, whether it's making music or designing clothes and shoes. I've been trying to shoot some kind of video with him for a long time, like a "day in a life" story or some kind of short skate video, but the both of us have always been busy and our paths never crossed—until this past summer, that is.

One day, I was surfing the Internet, looking at photos on Instagram, and that’s when I noticed Chad was posting pictures of some art project he'd started working on. It caught my attention right away. I started asking some of my friends about Chad and fired off a few text messages asking him what’s going on, but he wasn’t responding. Then one night I ran into Chad at the local watering hole and that’s when I put him on the spot, asking him what he’s up to. We both ordered some drinks and soon he was sharing his vision with a lot of enthusiasm and passion and he invited me to come over and check out the space. Chad started laughing and mentioned that maybe we could shoot that the video I’d been asking about after all this time.

So I finally made it over to Chad’s studio—or the "Flat 425" as he called his workspace—and Paulo Diaz, a friend of Chad’s and legendary skateboarder, was hanging out helping Chad with this project, too.  At first Chad wasn’t sure if this video idea I’d been pushing for was going to work out. I guess he’s sensitive about peoples' energy, and if you kind of bug him he’ll just ask you to leave. But after the first night of the three of us hanging out, he knew I was going to work out—or at least that’s what he told me.

Originally I'd wanted to film Chad for a few days and then just edit the video and put it out, but after a few times hanging around the studio and noticing what was going on I decided to keep filming throughout the entire summer. I felt like I was capturing what I would call some really good “moments of madness”, and they happened frequently. I felt if I kept this up, I would eventually have a better video to edit.

Now that the video is finished, I’ve been looking back and thinking about the time I spent hanging with Chad over the summer. I had a lot fun and it was inspiring to see what Chad was pulling together. It caught a lot of peoples' attention, and one of the things that stoked me out during the filming was how Chad would take the time to interact with all the people who would stop by the Flat. That’s when I learned Chad truly is a people person, and he would take the time to share his vision with anyone who walked through the door. It didn’t matter who you were. Chad also brought something positive to the LA art community that not many people can achieve—or even try to achieve. He’s generous like that, and I’m just thankful I was able to document this little moment in time. I learned a few things in the process, and I can’t think of a better way to have spent my time during the summer of 2012. —Rick Kosick

how to draw a cock

To be perfectly honest, I feel like I've had something stolen out from under me ... like I completely missed out on my opportunity to shoot a viral wad and blew 15-seconds of long, hard Interweb fame. So here I sit, flaccid and limp, with nothing but my own impotent and static black-and-white cocks to show for it. Too much time spent seizing my shaft and not the day, I suppose. Live and learn!

But what really gores my goat is that this guy totally dropped the testes when he added yellow paint. Yellow? YELLOW?! How many yellow-helmeted warriors have you seen in your day and time? Hmm? Okay, granted, I could see such a discoloration happening in Thailand or certain highway stretches found in the Eastern Bloc, Africa, and possibly even a few of the more methy outskirts in the American Southwest, but for the most part they're purple—PURPLE. The chosen color of royalists everywhere. But he did nail it with the veiners, so I at least have to give him his due wiener credit there.

But whatever. At least I can still lay claim to the dick design that was once more—much more*—than the faded memory it is now on Bam Margera's bottom from jackass number two (2006). And, besides, my real true life's dream is to one day be featured on Drawing Dicks on the Herald Sun. I've got the pen. I've got the passion. Now I just need a goddamn paper...

* The dick brand (or rather "dick farm") was at its very finest at its most infected state on one of Bam's Viva la Bam roadtrips that took place soon after the branding incident in Florida.

(Photo and drawings by Sean Cliver)

Related articles

a dickhouse family holiday gift

warning: human error leading cause of dildo play

a wildboyz behind behind the scenes

songs about my dick

six degrees of gangster squad separation

It's actually more like only two or three degrees, but who's counting in Hollywood? Certainly not me and my woebegone math skills. Here's how it works though: Once upon a time, Ruben Fleischer made 6 Days in May, a documentary about the Gumball Rally. Okay, well, right there you have the first degree, since our longtime friend Maximillion Cooper is the racing brain behind said freewheelin' event. During the course of this project, Ruben met Rob Dyrdek and Big Black, with whom he created and developed Rob & Big in association with Jeff Tremaine and Dickhouse in 2006, and the rest is celebrated MTV history following its three successful seasons and the subsequent advent of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory. And from there Ruben went off and directed a little feature called Zombieland. Maybe you've heard of it? Maybe its opening sequence helped inspire the use of the Phantom HD Gold camera on jackass 3D? Don't die wondering, but do consider checking out Ruben's latest, Gangster Squad, which opens in theaters nationwide tonight!

piece of shit artwork

How many times have you walked into a museum and thought, "Wow ... that's some real piece of shit artwork there!" I know I have, but that's mostly because I have a low tolerance for bullshit art theory. Like, if someone has to describe it to you, or use a bunch of art school mumbo-jumbo to justify its relevance, well, that's just stupid. Me, I like it literal and at face value, and here's a prime example of what I'm talking about: a piece of shit artwork. This is, of course, a bit more from the arts 'n' crafts period. I much prefer the work of the post-organics that was done in February 2008 during the jackassworld.com 24-hour takeover of MTV weekend. Longtime stalwarts and finger-painters here will know exactly what I'm referring to, but for everyone else on the ADHD fringe it was a challenge to create a truly pootastic alphabutt; or, in plain English, a wholly accidental alphabet made in the toilet bowl by fecal matter coiled straight from nature's soft serve machine. We never did assemble the full alphabet, but (butt!) we sure had fun viewing all the shitty shots of shit uploaded by viewers over the weekend. Ars excrementia artis!

Feeling like an art stool student? Craftily crave the copro? Feel free to share your butt creations here, or simply buy jackass the movie, jackass number two, jackass 2.5, jackass 3, and jackass 3.5 on DVD to experience poo the way Hollywood meant you to!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Poo by Dave England; Hollywood, California 2006)

cute product alert: the nike sb "krampus" shoe

Sean Cliver is talented as all hell, but he is so quiet about it. He is quiet period, but if I was as talented at something as he is at drawing I would be the biggest blowhard in town. Don't get me wrong, I can go blow pretty hard, but a gift like Cliver's needs real trumpeting. Or at least a rusty trombone or two.

Anyway, since Cliver plays everything so goddamn close to the vest it's my pleasure to let you know about the new shoe he helped design for Nike. It's the Nike SB holiday release and it went on sale today. It reminds me of a vintage Air Jordan but with faux horse hair. Also there's an original Cliver Krampus-themed drawing on the insole of the shoe.

Who is Krampus? In Europe, Santa Claus sometimes has a sidekick that punishes the bad kids. Krampus is that prick. I call him a prick, but he is way better than Sinterklaas's sidekick Black Piete. He also punishes the kids of Europe—mostly Holland and Belgium—but he does it in full on blackface. They say it's from the soot that he gets on his face from diving down chimneys, but that doesn't explain the afro and big red lips. What the F?!!

Ah shit, now I've gotten all turned around. This post is about how awesome my friend Sean Cliver and his new shoe from Nike are. Ho ho ho and go pick a pair up today.

Love,

Knox

For more information on the Krampus shoe and its associated holiday apparel: www.nike.com

(Photo by Sean Cliver; 2012)