dickhouse

bam margera all 'worked up with the dudesons

With all the presidential poo in full monkey-flinging swing, let's pretend all debates could be held as thus: two men enter, one man leaves complaining about getting some kind of shit in his mouth. Wouldn't that be much more palatable to the ear and pleasing to the eye? I mean, I'd rather see some shit going in a mouth instead of out for once in monotone drones on topics having nothing to do with the tropics. Always the desert and its ceaseless unrest. Why not address the good things in life, like day-long monkey masturbation, gay men getting married on a unicorn, or Bam Margera going balls out ballistic with the Dudesons in the lap of the wintry land? That's a clearcut game, set, match if you ask me. Kony in 2012!

milk "sniffing" with bam, novak and the dudesons

We all have our archives of footage, and every so often it's fun to go digging through the digital piles for a choice peanut or two. Jukka sent this clip to me not long ago and ever since then I've been wondering about the Finnish Lapland definition of sniffing and what they have against snorting. It beats me, repeatedly so, and I've all but given up in lieu for being beaten any further. Not that I have anything against beets, mind you, as I always do enjoy a good, heart-stopping, crimson blow out in the toilet bowl—you know, the kind where you think you've just been victimized by the ebola virus and shit your insides out, only then to remember, "Oh yeah, fuck yeah, I had steamed beets for dinner last night ... whew."

happy birthday to jukka!

It's not often you can have a birthday with an incidental photo of some cake too, but it just so happens that once upon a Dickhouse time Jeff Tremaine forcefed Jukka a pastry puck while he was moonlighting on the set of Nitro Circus. By the by, whenever I hear Jukka's name it reminds me of The Dickies' Stukas Over Disneyland, even though Yookah isn't pronounced anything at all like a Stuhkuh, but whatever—it's all Finn by me. Hyvää Syntymäpäivää, Jukka, the umlauts are on us tonight!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2009)

hot waxing with bam, novak and the dudesons

Look, I'm just going to get the Karate Kid quip out of the way first, so here goes: wax in, wax out. Okay, that spat I can now get on with the rest of the post ... or at least the wordy part of it that may or may not be digested by all but should still be considered an essential part of your daily Dickhouse diet. Yes, if you check on on the USDA food pyramid it falls somewhere between the meats and breads—more specifically the wieners and buns. By the way, baguettes, did you blink and miss the one and only season of the Dudesons in America that (to the best of my knowledge) never made it onto DVD? If so, despair digitally not, for you can always satisfy your uncontrollable urges for instant gratification by clicking this link here .

dudesons flashback: the worst idea ever

There are things we do in our life that may not make much sense at the time, or possibly at all, like ever, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. However, that doesn't mean it's a good thing either. It's all shades of gray at best—and no, I don't mean that in a mommy porn way. But what I would call here with Jukka is probably about an 80-percent gray if I had to rate it on a hardcore Zipatone™ scale of 10-to-90 (a zero being absolute white and one-hundred being pure black, if you're not down with old school graphic design lingo). Others, like Mr. Merlin, might only consider it a 40-percent, but he does have a rather skewed take on BDSM in general. The long, short, and shit of it all is that Jukka went yee-haw for the seesaw and still lived to piss out of it. And isn't that all that really matters in the end, anyway?

 

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Los Angeles, California 2009)

happy birthday to ryan dunn!

Yesterday we gathered in Eagle Rock to celebrate Ryan's birthday. Today he would have been 35. We played softball, because Ryan enjoyed doing that on the weekends sometimes in West Chester. Hats and jerseys were made with Ryan's image, and the turnout was big enough for us to field four teams. Spirits were very high even if the skill level was very low. It was a special day for our brother we lost almost one year ago.

Photos left to right: Knoxville takes home plate with his trademark running style; Preston Lacy, large and down to charge; Beardo Josh Lingenfelter and Capt. Caveman Cordell Mansfield, out standing in their field.

In true Ryan Dunn fashion there were a couple of injuries, too. Assistant editor Lacey Reilly got knocked dizzy when Don Swedo accidentally ran her over at home plate. She was okay, but that's more than I can say for jackass exec producer Derek Freda. The poor bastard tore his Achilles tendon and had to go to the emergency room for just running to first base!

Photos left to right: Knoxville, Steve-O and Jeff Tremaine; Wee mound Man; Guch rounds third and goes for home.

Anyway, I checked in on Derek after the game and told him I was sorry he got hurt. He replied, "Way I see it, Ryan and I became friends in an ER, so it's fair I stopped by one today. The best part were the giggle fits Welshie [Jennifer Welsh] and me would go into when the ER nurse said 'swollen', 'throbbing', or 'hard.'"

Photos clockwise from top left: Chris Pontius with an unusual amount of skin coverage; Jennifer "Lefty" Welsh; Dimitry Elyashkevich channels his inner Brooklyn; A portrait of Jacaso as a young batter with Paul English, Jr. as his close personal catcher; Trip Taylor sets his shady sights on centerfield.

So you see, Ryan's spirit was there with us on the ball field, and it was definitely with Derek and Welshie in the ER. No one liked dick jokes more than Dunn.

Photos left to right: Dave England's son Roan runs; Jukka Hilden, Chris Pontius and Wee Man on deck; Derek Freda bats his way into a first class trip to the ER.

Photos left to right: Big Ryan and his wife Vanessa; HP of the Dudesons; Derek Freda and the Achilles tendon that couldn't.

Happy birthday, Ryan. You are loved, cherished, and very missed.

Love,

Knoxville and everyone in the Dickhouse family

(Photos by Rick Kosick; Eagle Rock, California 2012)

old product alert: jackass 10 years of stupid

It's going ... going ... gone? Not quite sure if our special edition anniversary book jackass 10 years of stupid is headed the way of the dodo pasture, but from the not-so-in-stock look of things over on Amazon that just may be the case. So if you haven't picked up a copy yet, best do your online homework and get 'er done now. In the event you have no idea what the Sam Hill I'm yammering about, then consider this an extremely johnny-come-lately* introduction:

Jackass: 10 Years of Stupid Bookflip from powerHouse Books on Vimeo.

We really had the best of intentions for throwing a big coming out party for the book last October, like a full cast signing in a major metropolitan city, but, well, I missed the original deadline and blew that widow of opportunity. Especially once jackass 3.5 kicked in come November, making short work of any other available and/or timely dates. Technically, I guess an excuse for something did go down in Las Vegas during one of Bam's club appearances, but that really was tantamount to farting in a dust storm. Eh, "Say la vee," as the French-Canadian c'est.

Should you have a severe allergic reaction to the printed word, or just not happen to have a coffee table or ottoman on hand to chuck this chunk of shit at, then perhaps you'd be interested in staunching the stupid flow with this abridged iPad version of the book: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jackass-10-years-of-stupid

* Not to be confused with Johnny Knoxville, horse cum, or sunscreen, but hot damn—I just may have to go watch that again now. Never fails to bring a smile to my face watching that sombitch happily slather up his face!

the original dudesons episodes now on MTV2

Dear Fans and People of US of A,

Finally we won the battle of censorship at MTV to get the original Dudesons episodes on AIR. These episodes were shot in Finland and across Europe with not too many restrictions, rules, laws or anything that would tie our hands and ideas down—back in the days when it was pretty much just four Dudesons, few camera guys, whole lot of dynamite, cars to crash, and plenty of other way too optimistic stunt ideas that will for sure go wrong!

Our four original seasons are now coming to MTV2 (premiering tonight after jackass 3.5), so please check out the episodes and share the happy message around!

Rockenroll and we hope you guys enjoy the show!

Jukka

Dudesons original episodes air Friday nights on MTV2 at 12:00am ET/PT (11:00pm CT).

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Madrid, Spain 2010)

tonight on mtv... it's jackass 3.5 the movie!

Do you suffer from short term memory loss? Do you experience headaches, fatigue or difficulty maintaining focus on anything for longer than a New York minute? Wondering why the hell you're still here on this page when you could be updating your Facebook status at this very important second? Well, we've got just the MTV thing for the ADHD in you! Tonight, on MTV, home of the f'ing Moon Man, jackass 3.5 will air like it's never aired before* at 10:00pm ET/PT (that would be 9:00pm for those of you dwelling in the CST taint of America). Not only that but get this: Technological wünderkind himself Johnny Knoxville will be live thumb-twiddling on Twitter! That's right, @realjknoxville will be tweeting throughout the duration of the broadcast! I'd buy that for a dollar, but you get it for free ... free ... FREE! Sorry, Slim Jim not included.

* Basically it has never aired before, so yes, Virginia, sometimes there is pale shade of truth in half-assed journalism.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Madrid, Spain 2010)

the "jackass: 10 years of stupid" ipad book app

In a digital world gone mad there's only one thing we can really do: add a touch of the stupids. And what better way to sanitarily touch our stupids than with a slap-appy version of the far from national best-selling book jackass: 10 years of stupid that has been specially designed for the iPad. For those of you that already own the hardback—so hardback—book and consider it to be your most prized possession in the bathroom, please be aware that this is by no means a replacement. It's actually a dumbed-down* yet more digitally robust interpretation. How so? It's like all interactive and shit. How do? Swipe and wipe the historical pages like your ass ... play fun-sized mini-games ... take a gander at all the pretty, high resolution pictures ... goose yourself silly over the Monty Python-esque graphics ... watch classic corresponding moments from the original MTV television series—all for the fun-sized price of $4.99. Check out the app's specs here:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jackass-10-years-of-stupid

Oh yeah, and while you're at it and all amped on apps, why not download this handy-dandy Dickhouse doohickey for free? That's right, free. You can't beat that with a dick.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/official-dickhouse-productions

* Less of those pesky words if you get my verbose drift.

wintertime in america (with finns!)

If you're going to go play in the snow you better have a handful of Finns in your pocket to fiddle around with (doesn't hurt to have an Erik Roner, too, but his 3.5 time will come soon enough). Finns, as everyone knows, are weaned on icicle tits from the depths of Helsinki, so we grabbed the Dudesons and went to Christmas Town with them up on the higher elevated slopes of the Sierra Nevadan mountain range in Northern California. It was fun. It was foolish. It was 3.Finnish! And it's now festively featured on joost.com as a crazy shade of winter.

Like a good cliche? Prefer idioms to idiots? Grab a thesaurus, take your dictionary out of the mashed potatoes and bring that metaphoric beat back. Oh, and while you're at it, the constipated marbles of jackass 3.5 are dropping weekly on Tuesdays and Fridays throughout April and May: http://www.joost.com/jackass3.5

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2010)

the dickhouse digital download department store

Gone are the days of the material world. Well, no, not entirely. The Consumer is still King Shit in Commodityland, but there has been a decided shift in buying bias from physical bits to digital bytes. Me, I was never a hardcore material girl, but I do prefer a good old fashioned CD or DVD—but that's mostly because I once had my laptop stolen and lost a brutal swath of my important intangibles (not to mention my pronounced lack of a vaginal orifice). Lesson to be learned: Back that ass up—no, that's a different lesson, but you get the general idea.

Still, I do believe that the less possessions one has weighing them down in life the more rich and adept the existence may be. So when everything you own can be crammed into a small, pocket-size brick of gigabytes, well, that's pretty damn neat—especially for those who prefer to beat to the tune of a Kerouac drum.

In the event this brave new download world applies to you, then today is the greatest day you've ever known because I have gone to absolutely no great lengths to construct a one-stop super shop for your lifestyle of choice (the biggest problem by far was erecting an image to fill this tall order).

Jackass Vol. 1: Episode 1

Jackass Vol. 1: Episode 2

Jackass Vol. 1: Episode 3

Jackass Vol. 1: Episode 4

Jackass Vol. 1: Episode 5

Jackass Vol. 1: Episode 6

Jackass Vol. 2: Episode 1

Jackass Vol. 2: Episode 2

Jackass Vol. 2: Episode 3

Jackass Vol. 2: Episode 4

Jackass Vol. 2: Episode 5

Jackass Vol. 3: Episode 1

Jackass Vol. 3: Episode 2

Jackass Vol. 3: Episode 3

Jackass Vol. 3: Episode 4

Jackass Vol. 3: Episode 5

Jackass Vol. 3: Episode 6

Jackass: Lost Tapes, Episode 1

Jackass: Lost Tapes, Episode 2

Jackass: Lost Tapes, Episode 3

Jackass: Lost Tapes, Episode 4

Jackass: Lost Tapes, Episode 5

Jackass Gumball Rally

Jackass The Movie

Jackass Number Two

Jackass 2.5

Wildboyz, Season 1

Wildboyz, Season 2

Wildboyz, Season 3

Wildboyz, Season 4

Nitro Circus, Season 1

Nitro Circus, Season 2

Rob & Big, Season 1

Rob & Big, Season 2

Rob & Big, Season 3

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, Season 1

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, Season 2

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, Season 3

The Dudesons in America, Season 1

Ultimate Predator

the incredible smoke shot with jukka and dimitry

YouTube is full of incredible this, that and whatever, but here's our low-rent entrant into the "Holy shit!" fray. Recently, while in Madrid, Spain for the MTV EMA festivities, Jukka Hilden of the Dudesons piped up at a cafe that he could flip a smoke into someone's mouth from a sporting distance. Our resident "DP" Dimitry Elyashkevich tends to have more oral talent than most, so he volunteered to be the recipient for demonstrational purposes. The first one or two tries Jukka missed his target. He then readjusted his position on the grounds that he was "too close" and backed up a few more feet. Lo and behold—and perhaps with some credit to Dimitry—he hit the boca mark with remarkable accuracy. For that matter, so did Knate Gwaltney, who managed to capture Jukka's incredible smoke toss on the digital smart putty of his camera.

Incidentally, should there be any naysayers claiming "smoke and mirrors," rest assured this was ALL smoke and mouth with no shenanigans whatsoever. Kikkeli!

(Special thanks to Knate, the man with the quick hands on his cam, for supplying this video.)

the jackass 3D european campaign: spain revisited

I'll be honest with you: I have a hard time giving up the past, and that's precisely why we're still in Spain—never mind the fact a significant amount of our daily traffic comes from there. Coincidence? Plate of shrimp? Random movie references that are now lost on a new generation of confused repo men? All these questions and more will not be answered, and that is even more precisely why we're going back down memory lane with a few videos I found while wandering around the worldwide wasteland. For instance, this straight up clippy clip from the premiere of jackass 3D at the Kinepolis in Madrid:

And now that you've seen a professional take on the movie premiere proceedings, let's step it down a digital pixel or two (perhaps even more) and peep the Spanish fan's eye view from the theatrical stands as the boys get wiggedy-wiggedy-wack on the mike while welcoming the crowd:

The world would not be what it is without poles—and no, that's not a nod to the Polish, but rather the concept of opposites. And with that we trade the in for the out to see an even more degenerative fan's eye view of the Kinepolis premiere entrance:

Bonus! Virtually every MTV EMA-oriented celebrity was housed at the Westin Palace, where numerous Españiards camped out all hours of the day to catch a glimpse of someone famous—or not, in some instances, an example being our cameraman Tyler Swain. I think he was initially mistaken by some teenage girls for Dave England (?)  and from there he proceeded to sign numerous autographs, pose for photos and receive the full flash popping power of the paparazzi. What with the old world architecture, giddy foreign accents and ebullient enthusiasm, it was all very Fellini-esque in our very own la dolce vita ridicola. Anyway, here's a random treasured moment from one campista feliz outside the hotel as the jackass cast made their way out the door and off to the EMAs:

the jackass 3D european campaign: spain, pt. 2

And so it comes to this. Actually, it hasn't come to anything. We've simply reached the final destination point of our international promotional campaign: the MTV European Music Awards in Madrid, Spain. Several members of the jackass cast were going to be presenting awards, and we, the lowly crew, were lucky enough to ride their coattails straight through the VIP backdoor and into the celebrity thick of it.

Some instantly retired to the cast green room to sip water and eat nuts. Others disappeared into the open bar/food area to down booze and ingest exotic buffet fare. Several took up faux-instruments to test drive the new Rock Band 3 video game. And Rick Kosick went big-game hunting for the Jersey short woman known as "Snooki" to bag an exclusive backstage money-shot photo for his website www.rickkosick.tv.

The EMAs were ... well, the EMAs. Whether you like it, love it, hate it, or could care less about it—it simply is what it musically is. Me, I'm not exactly the most new pop-culture kid on the block, so most of the winning and performing faces were way, way off my radar, a/k/a highly irrelevant to my life and times. I did catch the Kings of Leon perform from the long distant vantage point of our VIP seat block, but others, like Ke$ha, whom when I first heard the name announced confused her for a breakfast cereal spokesmodel, drove me out of the arena and into the backstage bar zone, where the act of getting a drink was nearly if not more difficult than keeping up with the commas at this point. So. Let's put an end to that. There! Okay.

Photos clockwise from upper left: Johnny Knoxville runs the gauntlet outside the Westin Palace hotel with class; Rock Band 3ers Rick Kosick, Knate Gwaltney, Dimitry Elyashkevich and Cordell Mansfield; Backstage photo time-killing with Danger Ehren and that one random aforementioned tall girl from London; Wee Man goes commando on live TV; Sean Cliver gets green-roomed with Caleb Followill of the Kings of Leon; Chris Pontius and the EMA skeleton key of credentials.

By now you've no doubt heard or perhaps even seen the penile spectacle that the boys made out of their EMA award presentation. (I can't even remember what or who they were awarding, such was the upstaged case.) However, for those that live under a bigger slab of rock than I presently do, Wee Man freed his willy and done stuck his dick in the proverbial mashed potatoes of the event. Funny how a bared penis can be such a hard thing for the mainstream to swallow when it's force-fed to them, and yes, you can make of that what you will.

Photos clockwise from upper left: A bowl of Ke$ha and Cliver (for all I know she still might as well be a breakfast cereal spokesmodel); Sometimes you just have to do it because it's just so ludicrous—Dave England, Lindsey Shupe and Cliver mob up with Miley Cyrus; A crowded backstage house with the Dudesons and our crew (make special note of the unopened Pepsi soda pop cans).

I didn't bring along my camera to this event (aside from the crummy photo-taking feature on my iPod Touch), so you'll have to bear with several of the images from the EMA's backstage after-party as I was often on the giving end of the digital putty. Quite honestly, though, it really can be a relief to be cut free from the responsibility of toting a $3000 camera around (I was, admittedly, rolling the dice with my rig at the Irish after-party in the state I was in), especially when there is loads of free alcohol to grease the wheels of stupid. Yee-hah!

Photos clockwise from upper left: Danger Ehren with yet another King of Leon, Jared Followill; Cliver, lost in translation between a "high-five" and a "go fuck yourself"; Alcohol can harm you, Cliver and Ryan Dunn; Kosick and Lindsey support Kid Rock; Dimitry, Guch, Coronita and Seamus "I was in the jackass 3D credits 'Blue Room'!" Frawley.

All of the above was the upside, by the way. The downside was that the majority of us were to be leaving the hotel bright and early that Spanish morning—approximately four hours from when several of these photos were taken—for our international and overwhelmingly hungover trip back to the United States ... and it was not pretty.

(Crappy iPod Touch photos by Sean Cliver; all other photos courtesy of Lindsey Shupe's camera; Madrid, Spain 2010)