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tonight it's jackass 3 on the mtv!

So you've seen the dementia dimensionally, now see it lay pipe on cable. Tonight at 10/9 C the MTV will be premiering jackass 3 in whatever capacity can be done for the first time ever during the course of its latest #MANCATION weekend. We won't be officially tweeting it up live along with the broadcast, but the MTV is running some other kind of promotion where you'll have the opportunity to win random shit for correctly guessing how many nuts get kicked in the course of the #MANCATION event (and if you haven't guessed it by now it's real important to use that hashtag or you ain't gonna have a corn kernel's chance in Dave England's rectal hell of winning jack shit).

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Burbank, California 2010)

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artists talk with alia shawkat and lance bangs

Check your menses and man fixations at the door. Today we go for a walk on the art side with Lance Bangs as he and Alia Shawkat, a/k/a Maeby Fünke on the awesome and soon to be returned Arrested Development, post-modernly engage, interact and interview artists such as Raymond Pettibon, Andrew Kuo, David Choe, FriendsWithYou, Marcel Dzama, and Geoff McFetridge.

Speaking of Geoff in an entirely unspoken fashion, this one time, while at a bachelor party circa 2000, I was hanging with Geoff on the corner of Wilshire and something or other in the Koreatown district when Johnny Knoxville sauntered up to us. He was on his way out, but just at that very moment a carload of Korean gangsters drove by and yelled something that prompted Knoxville to shout something back.

Well, one thing always leads to another (when doesn't it?) and the car abruptly pulled over. Three surly, moderately roly-poly, would-be toughs piled out, at which point Knoxville turned and asked Geoff and I if we had his back. I can't recall exactly what Geoff said*, but I know I looked at Knoxville, shook my head, shrugged my shoulders, and hung my manhood out to dry with a single, "No," that would've made Michael Cera proud.

Regardless, Knoxville still went ahead and took on all three street brawl-style. He could've taken 'em all, too, had he not soon come to the realization he'd been stabbed two times because one of the guys had a li'l blade clenched in his balled-up fist. Knoxville respectfully bowed out at that point, what with the fight suddenly losing its old fashioned hand-to-hand appeal, but he has never let me forget that I didn't have his back. Whatever. I can live with that, seeing as I'm about as useful in a physical fight as a human shield absorbing bullet sprays. Okay, granted, that does serve some practical purpose, I suppose, but hell, I was born a coddled First World cub, a sensitive white artist, and 135-pounds soaking wet, so what more, if anything, can you f'ing expect, aside from gross, heavy-handed misuse of a damn comma?

I rest my case.

* Considering Geoff didn't make any movement to aid Knoxville either, I can only assume he consciously chose to be an objector, too.

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last call: the loiter squad wrap-n-bowl-o-rama

This past Wednesday night at PINZ on the strip in Studio City, the Loiter Squad cast and crew gathered to bowl the night away in memory of filming for Season 2. Keep your sussy ass chapped and eyes wide peeled for news on when the upcoming season will premiere on Adult Swim in 2013!

Photos clockwise from top left: Robert Francis and Joe O'Riordan; Bowling Barry Smoler abides; Taco in repose; Tyler on the pole; Lindsey and Amanda with special guest photobomb by Rob from Montrose; Jared McClurg's head doesn't look anywhere near as big as Don Swedo's; Cordell Mansfield manages, for once, to keep his eyes open while food eating with Volney Howard IV.

Photos clockwise from top left: Davon "Jasper" Wilson; Lance "Bearded" Bangs and Compston "Dark Shark" Wilson; Chris Clancy and Kelly Sato Clancy; Rick Kosick and Jeff Tremaine; Eric, Tyler, Taco, Knate, Shanna, and Lionel mug while Kevin Mills mulls; Guch balances balls while Shad shaka brahs; Lionel Boyce.

(Special thanks to Lindsey Shupe and Rick Kosick for the photo-tasking services!)

bangs bangs bangs: a los angeles triple shot

Do you live in Los Angeles? Are you down with Lance Bangs? Well, starting tonight, Thursday, September 6th, at 7:30pm, you can kick off any and all fetishes for Bangs you might have with his "Photo Strays" launch event and poster show at Family Books. And it doesn't stop there...

...because on the night of Friday, September 7th, at Cinefamily, Lance will be projecting documentary excerpts, short films, music videos, concert footage, tour projections, and collaborations featuring Arcade Fire, Belle & Sebastian, Guided By Voices, Jay Reatard, LCD Soundsystem, Menomena, Neutral Milk Hotel, No Age / Black Flag, Pavement, R.E.M., The Shins, Elliott Smith, Sonic Youth, Syd Tha Kid, The White Stripes, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and others. The "Immortal Volume" program will also include an excerpt from Lance's forthcoming feature length documentary Breadcrumb Trail about the Louisville band Slint, as well as excerpts from the unreleased feature length concert film Arthurfest. Following the screening, Bradford Cox (Atlas Sound / Deerhunter), Randy Randall (No Age), Dean Spunt (No Age), and Mike Watt (Minutemen / Stooges) will perform live. But wait! There's more...

...much more. The night of Saturday, September 8th, Cinefamily continues to kick out the Bangs with not only a selection of rare and unreleased comedy clips from his personal archives, but also a full-on live comedy show featuring Tenacious D, Chelsea Peretti, Nick Kroll, Jonah Ray, Kumail Nanjiani, Moshe Kasher, Brett Gelman, Jon Daly, Ron Funches, Rob Heubel, and more. Plus DJ Nancy Whang (LCD Soundsystem / The Juan MacLean) will be there to spin tunes before and after the show.

Whew. That's a whole lotta Bangs for your nightly Los Angeles buck.

happy birthday to lance bangs!

For the second year in a row now I'm issuing this congratulatory statement on the wrong day, but the fact is this time I know it's the wrong day (f' you, Wikipedia!). Lance Bangs's birthday was actually yesterday, but, as you all know, that day was already occupied by Jeff Tremaine's birthday. So, instead of splitting thunder, I chose to appease The Emperor first; no slight of course to Lance, but, well, the rainbow does have its daily bread that needs to be buttered and Tremaine is all buns. That said—although it does leave lots to ponder—hope you had a good birthday, Lance!

(Photo by Lindsey Shupe; 2011)

jackass bingo

It's been a while since I've done something stupid (well, not that long, considering I did recently ask a homeless man where I could find an ATM to withdraw some cash in Charleston, SC), but here's an online stuipd—stuipd?—stupid just for you. Why? Because you are special. A snowflake. A butterfly. That last little turd that hangs on for all its fibrous worth before disengaging to join its big brown brothers below. You get the idea. So here it is: jackass bingo! Simply print it out, pop in a DVD, and play along for no real reason at all in the privacy of your own home, apartment, or squat. No dress code is required to do so, but it is always fun to imagine people watching movies in nothing but their underpants (or, if it's a marathon, in Depends adult diapers).

Fair disclosure: This is by no means an original idea. In fact, I borrowed (stole) the concept after seeing a much more hipster version of it called "Wes Anderson Bingo", but that takes likes smarts and shit to play, whereas this is just dumb and isn't far off from real shit. Plus, because of the sheer amount of crossover content, cast clusterfucks, and peanut galleries galore, queries will surely arise like, "Well, it's throw up and it's Steve-O, so where pray tell do I put my official jackass bingo chip?" In the end, I suggest doing what Jesus would do: Live fast, work with wood, make some fish wine, raise some zombies, and don't leave a beautiful corpse behind. Godspeed and good luck making little to no sense of it!*

* Worst case, you can always tap on the image, print it out, and decorate your refrigerator or toilet lid.

photo of the day: preston lacy

Do y'all do the Twitter thing? If so, here's one big #FF for you. And no, in case you were wondering, all those pubic hairs you see on Lance Bangs' chest are not leftovers from Danger Ehren's beard in jackass number two. Don't get me wrong, it sure would be neat if they were, but they're not. It's just a dirty-ass scan of an image I found while going through the binders of 35mm slides from the first movie. This was, by the way, one of those seemingly harmless pranks that suddenly went due south and resulted in a run-in with the local constabulary—or, as @BAM__MARGERA would tweet, "and then the cops came". 

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Orlando, Florida 2002)

old product alert: jackass 10 years of stupid

It's going ... going ... gone? Not quite sure if our special edition anniversary book jackass 10 years of stupid is headed the way of the dodo pasture, but from the not-so-in-stock look of things over on Amazon that just may be the case. So if you haven't picked up a copy yet, best do your online homework and get 'er done now. In the event you have no idea what the Sam Hill I'm yammering about, then consider this an extremely johnny-come-lately* introduction:

Jackass: 10 Years of Stupid Bookflip from powerHouse Books on Vimeo.

We really had the best of intentions for throwing a big coming out party for the book last October, like a full cast signing in a major metropolitan city, but, well, I missed the original deadline and blew that widow of opportunity. Especially once jackass 3.5 kicked in come November, making short work of any other available and/or timely dates. Technically, I guess an excuse for something did go down in Las Vegas during one of Bam's club appearances, but that really was tantamount to farting in a dust storm. Eh, "Say la vee," as the French-Canadian c'est.

Should you have a severe allergic reaction to the printed word, or just not happen to have a coffee table or ottoman on hand to chuck this chunk of shit at, then perhaps you'd be interested in staunching the stupid flow with this abridged iPad version of the book: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jackass-10-years-of-stupid

* Not to be confused with Johnny Knoxville, horse cum, or sunscreen, but hot damn—I just may have to go watch that again now. Never fails to bring a smile to my face watching that sombitch happily slather up his face!

never mind, lance bangs!

Ah, son of a bitch... Despite the standard "Orange Alert" I normally assume when it comes to all "information" posted on Wikipedia, I've been hoodwinked and pantsed by the good edjucated people that see fit to misinform the global populace. So yeah, it was not Lance Bangs' birthday on Thursday, September 8, as erroneously stated earlier today. But, as he factually pointed out on via Facebook, it's still nice to receive multiple days of well-wishing throughout the year, especially when you're not held accountable for it in Carousel* terms. Sorry for jumping the birthday gun, Lance!

* This is a pop-culture reference that serves only to say that I started running years ago and have not yet been caught. If anything, just make sure you see the original Logan's Run (1976) before some shit farm** in Hollywood decides to do a remake.

** Goddamnit ... I asterisked too soon. Apparently there is a remake already in the works and it's being redelivered in 2014. Mayans don't fail me now.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2010)

happy birthday to lance bangs!

Living in the jungle is everything you would expect it to be and for that sole reason I was unable to properly commemmorate the day Lance Bangs came to be in the world. It was yesterday, Thursday, September 8, and knowing Lance there's probably some bizarre hitch that comes along with it. What it may be, I have no idea, but that's what is so great about Lance. Just when you think you know how his mind and body run, he throws an unexpected curve ball—and usually when the camera is on, bless him. So happy belated birthday, Lance. Hope this big bowl of dicks doesn't throw your body into a conniption fit or anything!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2010)

a dave england and danger ehren interlude

Many of you know Lance Bangs as the cameraman on jackass that occasionally pukes or cracks up, but he's more than that. Much more. So much, in fact, that there's a pleasing plethora of "for instances" I could cite, but for now I'd just like to call out this one particular video that was part of a series of projections he filmed to play behind Aerosmith during a monster rock tour with KISS. It features Dave England, Danger Ehren, Jason "J2" Rasmus and Thor Drake. Should those last two names ring a bell, it's because they've both had appearances on jackass: J2 threw his sweet body around in a red wagon, conquered the San Francisco snowboard scene, and skimboarded his way through Seattle and into the Japanese theatrical release of jackass the movie; and Thor, he was the originator of the "mini-loop" that Ehren attempted with much emotion in jackass number two. Hence, this "Sweet Emotion" accompaniment...

the big time answers to the big time fan quiz

Last Friday I posted up a little quiz to test your big time fan status. Several claimed to understand the greatness of Wildboyz (bless their wildery hearts), while others boasted knowing one and all ... but I honestly doubt they did because there was one very wild card in this stacked deck. Before presenting the cast and crew run down though, I must first address this very important message from our sponsors:

Poo poo! Pee pee! Throw up! Own jackass 3.5 the unrated movie today on DVD, Blu-ray, VOD and DTO!

And now, the moment everyone has not been waiting for... the many numbered men are:

1. Everyone's favorite shady propmaster and Mexican hairless dog... JxPx Blackmon.

2. Surely you're no stranger to the man who poo too much... Dave England.

3. The true mystery man is our main camera rigger and Knight Library maven... Tyler Swain.

4. The man, the myth, the worldwide web wonder... Rick Kosick.

5. The director of photography and related mischief... Dimitry Elyashkevich.

6. The head midjit in charge... Wee Man.

7. If it's got a wide load and a big smile it must be... Preston Lacy. 

8. That's no Clone Trooper but it is indeed a Vikings fan... Lance Bangs.

9. He not only makes wild things, he is a wild thing... Spike Jonze.

10. There would be no Dickhouse without this primary dick... Jeff Tremaine.

11. The beard abides... Ryan Dunn.

12. The sexiest man in rock and quite possibly the skinniest... Loomis Fall.

13. The Captain Caveman of sound and smash... Cordell Mansfield.

14. Need a water flotation device or kiddie pool inflated? Just ask for... Knate Gwaltney.

15. He once smashed his balls in a book and woke up mid-air off an Indonesian boat... Seamus Frawley.

16. All tomorrows party boys... Chris Pontius.

17. Safety first, pubes second... Danger Ehren.

18. And the top-hatted talibam man would of course be... Bam Margera.

P.S. To all of you with a severe attention disorder limited to the whereabouts of Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville: the first opted to stay in the US of A for this particular trip for wholly understandable reasons; the second was getting his head stapled at a hospital in Madrid after being trampled under foot on the cobblestones of Plaza Mayor.

(And yes, Sean Cliver was not to be found anywhere in the photo... otherwise there would be no photo; Madrid, Spain 2010)

photos of the day: the phantom menace

You're familiar with how the jock-appreciation crowd starts foaming at the mouth whenever cheerleaders take the field for downtime amusement purposes, correct? Well, that's exactly how camera nerds act, too, whenever they're in the presence of technological greatness. For example, our high speed day of reckoning in Pennsylvania, when the Phantom HD Gold camera was first unveiled to all on our crew. I swear, Jesus Christ Himself could've come down from the puffy white clouds above and delivered the Rocky to end all Rocky's to Johnny Knoxville's elusive head and it still wouldn't have phased the Phantom's newly devout disciples as they beheld their new digital God, prostrating themselves before its 1000fps of sheer HD awesomeness. 

Speaking of awesome, life really is an odd box of chocolates. As a young boy I was more than passionately entranced by the world famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, yet as an adult male I continually find myself drawn to abso-fucking-ludicrous jackass 3.5 situations such as these. Stupid is as stupid does, I suppose, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other absurd way.

Know how to do the "Belly Roll"? Prefer your molds to be jiggling and gelatinous? Keep counting down the seconds to the June 14th release of jackass 3.5 on DVD, or feast upon the unrated buffet of clips now on joost.com.

(Photos by Sean Cliver; Pennsylvania 2010)

the "jackass: 10 years of stupid" ipad book app

In a digital world gone mad there's only one thing we can really do: add a touch of the stupids. And what better way to sanitarily touch our stupids than with a slap-appy version of the far from national best-selling book jackass: 10 years of stupid that has been specially designed for the iPad. For those of you that already own the hardback—so hardback—book and consider it to be your most prized possession in the bathroom, please be aware that this is by no means a replacement. It's actually a dumbed-down* yet more digitally robust interpretation. How so? It's like all interactive and shit. How do? Swipe and wipe the historical pages like your ass ... play fun-sized mini-games ... take a gander at all the pretty, high resolution pictures ... goose yourself silly over the Monty Python-esque graphics ... watch classic corresponding moments from the original MTV television series—all for the fun-sized price of $4.99. Check out the app's specs here:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jackass-10-years-of-stupid

Oh yeah, and while you're at it and all amped on apps, why not download this handy-dandy Dickhouse doohickey for free? That's right, free. You can't beat that with a dick.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/official-dickhouse-productions

* Less of those pesky words if you get my verbose drift.

bombs away: the candy & cola crapshoot

We often joke about our being stupid, but the truth of the matter is we really are stupid. Case of cola in point: this particular "Bombs Away" clip from jackass 3.5.

Now by no means is this an "original" idea. It is quite common knowledge that that tube of you is uploaded with all sorts of videos pertaining to the unconventional union of a specific cola with a specific candy and the specific explosive result, but rarely if ever was the concept taken to the confines of an interior office space.

However, whereas every Chip, Charlie and Chad could successfully blast off the bottles, we were stymied big time on our first "Bombs Away" salvo. Roughly 98-percent of our ruddy armament was duddy in nature with absolutely no chemistry going down, up or anywhere in general (Steve-O accounted for the 2-percent that actually worked, but he only barely managed to find his Mr. Wizard groove just as the stock of candy and cola missiles was depleted).

Everyone and his production assistant had some kinda idea what was going wrong and how the chemical reaction could be bettered, but nothing worked on a remotely reliable basis for consistently chaotic filming purposes. Exhibit A: The photo at right with Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville trying to construct loops of tape to lock 'n' load the candied ammo—idiots!

Instead of throwing in the dunce towel, we consulted with those wonderful people responsible for all the explosive magic that happens in major motion pictures: special effects experts. We love these people. They once sent Johnny Knoxville toward the moon on a big red rocket, surely they could solve this minor league dilemma. But guess what? Even they had a bitch of a time finding a dependable solution! And they're professionals! But when they did, would you believe what it took? Magnets. Fucking magnets! They truly are miracles... Anyway, months later after the first failed filming attempt, it worked, by god, it worked!

Believe that Tab was an experiment conducted by the Military Industrial Complex on the unsuspecting populace? Think the Mentos commercials make absolute perfect sense? Pop some more corn syrup and see what tickles your fancy, bubbles: http://www.joost.com/jackass3.5

(Photos by Sean Cliver; Los Angeles, California 2010)