Remember the first time you sat down to watch jackass number two and were first suddenly swallowed part, parcel, and package by a great gay gaping maw of rainbows and butterflies? The opening sound effect was what really made that moment special, I think, but admittedly my tendencies do run to the hills screaming for vengeance on queer metal moments. Anyway, while the rest of the world goes black barking mad this Friday, you can bask in the moist warmth that is nothing but pink here at Dickhouse. So run along now and grab one of those neat plastic cards in mom's purse or dad's wallet and let them know you care this Christmastime. Believe me, more family memories have been made watching the poo we've extruded throughout the years than any other boring holiday special to have ever been created in the history of the world. Seriously, like any angel ever received its wings when a bell rang*. What nonsense!
World Famous Dickhouse Apparel
Everyone needs to cover their body with something, right? Well, some people I wish wouldn't cover their body, but then on the other hand I'm glad so many other people do. So to make it all democratic and shit we've got an assortment of torso sheaths to do just the cover up job. With rainbows. And if that wasn't statement maker material enough, we've got the word "dickhouse" in Helvetica Bold just beneath. I mean, Dorothy Gale only wishes a big house of dicks was the one that come down from the skies above to nail the Wicked Witch of the East to the flatlands of Oz! Own one if not more today: merchmethod.com/dickhouse
ESPN Films 30 for 30: The Birth of Big Air
Lacking inspiration in life? Look no further than this truly heartfelt production presenting the high-flying life and times of BMX legend Mat Hoffman. Throughout his career, Mat ignored conventional limitations; instead focusing his efforts on the purity of the sport and the pursuit of "what's next." His motivations stem purely from his own ambitions, and even without endorsements, cameras, fame, and fans, Mat would still would be working to push the boundaries of gravity. Spike Jonze and Johnny Knoxville, along with director Jeff Tremaine, showcase the inner workings and exploits of the man who gave birth to "Big Air." (By the way, no true jackass fan's collection is complete without the jackass presents Mat Hoffman's Tribute to Evel Knievel
DVD, in which Johnny Knoxville's urethra met its bloody match in the handlebar of a motocross bike.)
jackass: the lost tapes
In the online downtime between jackass 2.5
and jackass 3D, we scraped the bottom of the television tape archives and came up with all sorts of segments that went "missing" and never made it onto the jackass DVD box set. The “Self Defense Test,” “Stun Collar,” “Unicycle Poo Barf,” “Fast Food Football,” “Roller Jump,” and “Satan vs. God” (in its original long ass-kicking form!) are just some of the absurd gold that what was once lost but now is found, not to mention all the original jackass show opens and credit/outtake montages. But wait ... there's more! In addition to all the MIA television clips there's loads of bonus never-before-seen footage, including this really special moment when Dimitry Elyashkevich picked a booger from his Russian nostrils and delicately placed it on Sleep-O's mouth—and now it can be yours! Pressed, packaged, produced and preserved for dumb digital eternity.
jackass unrated 3-pack
It's hard to believe, but yes, we've been kicking, screaming, laughing and pooping for the past 12 years now. Wow ... when put like that it really sounds like a run of the mill description for any mental patient confined to life in a lunatic asylum circa the early 1900s. Anyway, I think this means we've jumped from one generation to the next—much like the Ebola virus jumping from monkeys to humans in Africa—and in the process picked up a whole slew of newcomers to the world of jackass. For these people there now exists this DVD 3-pack of unrated wonders to behold, cherish and share with loved ones throughout the years. Suck it, Capra!
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia
What can I say about the Wild Whites that hasn't been said before? I'm sure there's something of course, but my brain is slowly but surely bowing to the fact it is 3:00am and my stomach is still grinding away the football-sized plate of Thanksgiving food I ingested earlier in the evening. In short, baby's tired and I would happily let anyone put me in a corner just so I could go to sleep and dream a little digestive dream. Yep, there goes the attention span. Oh well. But regardless of whether you're familiar with the cult classic footwork of Jesco White or not, this documentary is sure to open your eyes, drop your jaw and expose you to what director Julien Nitzberg hails as "a portrait of America's last outlaw family."
* Okay, except for that time on Beverly Hills 90210 when Clarence helped Miriam out and did that whole cosmic bus collision intervention. That one I totally buy 100-percent.
. Check out the digital goods here:
(1981). But when one thinks of nature in all its fucked up splendor, there is and always ever will be just one synonymous thing: the WBZ—
), a sentiment that may just point toward a fun-filled Alzeimer's future of nothing but Groundhog Days for me. After all, that did take place in the spring of 2001 and we now stand on the precipice of mankind eleven years later. My, Mayan, how time flies... Anyway, as if you didn't know an "anyway" was inevitably coming by now, here's the trailer to our friend Maximillion Cooper's latest 
, featuring Bam Margera and Ryan Dunn, and 
, directed by Ruben "
" Fleischer). Number 13 follows the story of Dirty Sanchez stars Lee Dainton and Matthew Pritchard, as they tackle the famous 3000 mile road trip from London, England to Istanbul, Turkey in a less than glamorous shitbox VW—right alongside hot shit supercars driven by other featured Gumballers Bun B, EVE, Ndamukong Suh, The Dudesons, Tamer Hassan, Costas Mandylor, Shane Lynch, 
, and David Guetta.
, at which point it will most definitely be a joyeux noël for my poor constipation-torn rectum.
in 2010, so it may not have received the best coming out party possible.
" by Saxon? Buy 
