dickhouse

art sharts: the balls of chris pontius

It's been a good while since we've simply sat and pondered a photo for photo's sake without going out on a linked limb, so let's examine the post-pubescent, extra-spatial relationship between Chris Pontius, his balls, several other balls, and all immediate witnesses thereof. Actually, let's not, because anyone who deconstructs the meaning to anything should be tried and convicted of crimes against humanity. Okay, maybe that's going a bit overboard, but can't we all just sit and enjoy an image of a man spilling out of a common hotel elevator with his umbilicus and package presented to not only the heavens above but a hefty fraction of the Nitro Circus family—Street Bike Tommy and Andy Bell, to be precise—and the wilderiest nine-and-one-quarter fingered man on Earth, Manny Puig? I would sure hope so, but I'm naturally the hopeful sort and will spring eternal as such until the last of my pseudo-cynical waylaid days.

Tune in next week* for another negligible installment of Art Sharts to see further shots of shit** with accompanying senseless*** rants about nothing in sharticular at all!

* Complimentary cheese and crackers not included.

** Offer void in Delaware until its existence is proven otherwise.

*** Buy jackass 3 and jackass 3.5 on DVD for the full digital bitch of an experience!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Orlando, Florida 2010)

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giving it up to jim dechamp

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giving it up to jim dechamp

I don't like to play favorites (total bullshit but who honestly expects truth in journalism anymore), but after finally watching the Nitro Circus movie* I have to say Jim DeChamp is now running neck-and-neck with Street Bike Tommy in terms of being mine. Gosh, that sure sounds weird, especially on the week of Valentine's Day, but whatever. I was just too lazy to click open a thesaurus and find a suitable substitute for the word "favorite" and didn't want to double-up in the same sentence.

Regardless, an argument could certainly be made for the query "What's in a name?" with regard to Jim, because he really is a champ. It's like, with Travis Pastrana, someone so ridiculously gifted with an intuitive knowledge of the physics of the fucked, no matter how impossible or ridiculous the scenario may be you just always feel, "Yeah, he'll make it." But that's not always the case with Jim, nor with Tommy, and for that reason alone it's scary as hell to watch either of them commit to anything.

Don't get me wrong, Jim does have an undeniably freakish talent when it comes to things of a primarily bikish nature, but even then it's often what he ends up going for that puts you right on the edge of your shitter. And the fact he knows it's potentially fucked but still ends up throwing himself at it anyway makes you root for him all the more—and I don't mean that in like a pig looking for a truffle way. But, having now mentioned truffles, if anyone does want to be mine this Thursday, all it would take is a nice big box of those in the dark chocolate variety—vegan, of course, because I am one of those non-dairy fruit loops.

Anyway, Jim DeChamp, I salute you—with a T-Rex arm. Cheers!

Fan of Soft Cell? Obtuse to the hard sell? Exercise your power to purchase Nitro Circus Season 1, Season 2, or 3D on DVD and VOD.

* I understand I'm fully 2000-late on this, but geographical circumstance is as geographical doesn't when it comes to living remote and the world of entertainment.

(Photos by Sean Cliver; 2009)

a day in the nitro life of jeremy rawle

Jeremy Rawle is not only one of the creative minds behind Nitro Circus, he's one of its biggest mouths as well. If you've seen the show, you've definitely seen him, his world famous belly of "hard fat", and, of course, his mouth among men. Right now the whole crew is taking it to a stage down under, a place where back flips become front flips and vice versa (something to do with the Earth's upside down gravitational pull or some shit once you pass into the southern hemisphere), and they've been doing a series of "Life in the Circus" shorts with various cast. That said, here's Jeremy's day in the spotlight—and in a lot of his own words—from a recent tour stop in New Zealand:

Looking to look at the ultimate rush? Seeking to see the ultimate high? Stop being a macho jerk with a deathwish and pick up Nitro Circus Season 1 and Season 2 on DVD or VOD!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Riverside, California 2009)

colorado, ho!

If you're a diehard tree hugger I suggest you look elsewhere for your daily dose of dick this morning, but if you hug trees like Erik Roner hugs trees then read on! Today's ode to winter goes out to the "colorado", a stick little trick I first learned about on Nitro Circus, where a few of those individuals were so inclined to scale pine trees up to the tippy-top tufts until the maximum load bearing threshold was reached, surpassed, and subsequently snapped. Mind you, the "colorado" is best performed on slopes of fresh, deep powder, for what I hope would be understood for wholly obvious reasons, a/k/a nature's airbag. While this here may not be the deepest nor freshest powder to be found, Roner is wrapped in only the finest manmade bubble devices available for total fat-fucked personal protection.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Truckee, California 2010)

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happy birthday to andy bell!

It's a longstanding tradition within the Dickhouse family to present individuals celebrating their day of birth with a "Birthday Blue." The "Birthday Blue" is basically a tropical-ish alcohol-based concoction that one would typically find on the grim seafaring menu of a Red Lobster franchise. In fact, that's where this whole dumb tradition began, when a "Birthday Blue" was first purchased and presented to Earl Parker on his 21st birthday*. Since that time many a "Birthday Blue" has been merrily presented and ruefully accepted, mainly because it's a surefire hangover bullet to the head the next morning. I'm not exactly geographically-inclined to buy Andy Bell such a drink at the moment, but I do have this blue-ish memory of him to share from jackass 3D. Andy, too, was a victim of "The Blue Room", but unfortunately most all of the paint exploded up his backside and not up-the-nose-and-into-the-brain as Dave England's awesome experience went. Happy Birthday, Andy!

* In addition to his desired birthday entree of "Popcorn Shrimp".

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Agua Dulce, California 2010)

add a little nitro to your thanksgiving

Chances are you are either eating crow, talking turkey, or choking a chicken within your respective households at this very moment—none of which are relegated to residents of the U.S.A. today, mind you, so don't even think of playing that global "waaaaaaah" card. Everything is open to interpretation and need not be hot-boxed and stuffed into the fowl ass of a honey-glazed holiday carcass. So, with that in and out of mind, let's all give thanks to the Nitro Circus crew for giving it their all last year and turning an MIA third season into a full-length feature movie ... that you can now own on DVD and Blu-Ray! That's right, just click any of those colored words and be whisked away to a glorious land of commerce where you can celebrate capitalism at its very finest for nail bitin', ass clenchin' entertainment. America—fuck yeah!

If only the pilgrims could see the fruits of what their invasive seeds sowed centuries ago, right? Good thing for you second and third helpings can still be had with Nitro Circus Season 1 and Nitro Circus Season 2 on DVD, too.

(Photos by Sean Cliver; Utah 2009)

happy birthday to travis pastrana!

In lieu of blowing Bubbles or blowing out candles, we'd like to blow up a few firecrackers in honor of Travis Pastrana's birthday today. Chest or no chest, he's hands down one of the best when it comes to formulating the near algebraic equations that it takes to risk life and limb in the pursuit of stuntiness. Happy Birthday, Travis!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Riverside, California 2009)

the origin of street bike tommy

My first real introduction to Street Bike Tommy happened in late 2008 while they were filming for the first season of Nitro Circus on the MTV. Rick Kosick and I were visiting the set to acquire behind-the-scenes video and photos for jackassworld.rip, and it was clear from the get-go that most every cast member had little more than a whiskey throttle of an attention span.

They were sort of like the jackass cast in that sense, but dangerously compounded by the fact they were all on motorized vehicles and you really had to keep your wits about when around them—especially so with Tommy. In two instances he nearly ran me over while wildly out of control; once in California when he crashed a mini-motorbike through a fence I'd thought I'd safely situated myself behind, and the other in Utah after he bailed off a snowmobile and it skipped off my leg while I leapt to the side.

Despite these close calls, I'm always happy to run into Tommy on the random occasions that I do—he was an exceptional meaty treat to work with on jackass 3 and 3.5, where his bulk came in especially handy—and I'm proud to say I know someone who has done one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen on a motorcycle and lived to not only walk away from it but launch a whole damn career.

If you have no idea what I'm front-flipping referring to, then click on in to the video below for the origin of Street Bike Tommy...

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2008)

nitro circus the 3D movie now in theaters

Just in case not all synapses are created equal or have the super-focused abilities of Johnny Knoxville, hear ye, hear ye: Nitro Circus the 3D Movie is now playing in cinemas nationwide (give or take some miles that will need to be driven depending how back-forty you may be). And from what I've been seeing on Twitter, the reception appears to be pretty damn good with three-dimensional thumbs up all around. Congratulations, guys!

While I'm here and sticking my penis in a big bowl of themed mashed potatoes, Travis Pastrana made an appearance on Conan O'Brien last night to promote the flick...

...and throw a stunt in for good measure. Always hopes to go the extra mile, folks, especially when a Big Wheel is the machine of destruction.

Lamenting the fact you own neither Season 1 or Season 2 of the Nitro Circus MTV show? Pout no more! Pull yourself up out of the poutine and get 'em here and here on Amazon.

nitro circus explained by knoxville and tremaine

In case you've ever been confused by the differences between jackass and Nitro Circus, Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine are about to lay them out on the table in layman terms. Nitro Circus the 3D Movie is also about to lay it down hard—so hard—in theaters nationwide on August 8th (although, yes, there are a few privilged 'plexes that will be premiering the feature tonight on August 7th).

nitro circus: the 3D movie sneak peek testimonials

We interrupt this week's currently scheduled load of bollocks, bangers, and mash to bring you this "testimonial" clip from those that witnessed the pre-premiere this past June in Hollywood just prior to the X-Games. Steve-O, Ryan Sheckler, Jeremy McGrath, Rickie Fowler, Ian Walsh, and Andy Buckworth all chime in with their two cents, while you'll be able to cash out yours on August 8th when Nitro Circus 3D formally blows up in theaters nationwide.

ken block's gymkhana five

This one pretty much saturated the social networking scene yesterday like a Class 5 Super Soaker, but in the event you were momentarily living under a rock on Alcatraz here's Ken Block's latest Gymkhana endeavor. Who is Ken Block? Oh, just some agent of change that slipped into skateboarding's sole in the early-ish '90s with a start-up company called DC Shoes, a/k/a DC Shoe Co. USA. Maybe you've heard of it (if not, perhaps it's time you really busted a Clint Eastwood move out from under that aforementioned rock). Yes, he once had a gold tooth, but you know he's still hardcore when he can aerial drift and live to peel out and away from it. So wake up and smell the burned rubber, Michael Douglas. The streets of San Francisco have never looked so good—or empty, for that matter—as Block tears up the blocks of blocked off concrete and pavement (I don't know what you put in the Kool-Aid supply, Ken, but I'm honestly amazed the hippies let you get away with all that).

P.S. Guest-starring Travis Pastrana in some wheelie madness!

the new nitro circus the movie 3D trailer

Late last week we showed you a few snapshots from the initial premiere of the forthcoming Nitro Circus 3D movie and you loved them. You thought they were hysterical. Someone even claimed to have undergone a hysterectomy, but we're not to be held accountable for that—what you do with your uterus is your business. (Now a urethra, on the other hand, that we could as least provide some consultation and/or direction on how to catheterize oneself for longterm pleasure and enjoyment.) So today, in order to avoid any further uterine complications, we ask that you please take any necessary precautions before viewing the all-new Nitro Circus the Movie 3D trailer. In other Latin words, carpe diaphragm!

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Eyes without a face? Skip the leather, lace, and bummers and pick up Season 1 and Season 2 of the MTV Nitro Circus DVD series or watch them now, damn it, now! (Had your fill of those and crave fresh meat? Lick your tongue longtime with Nitro Circus Live.)

last call: the nitro circus 3D pre-premiere

This past Wednesday night in Hollywoodland marked the first real unveiling of Nitro Circus the Movie 3D at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. The movie doesn't officially open nationwide until August 8, 2012, but timing is everything in the extreme—EXTREME!—arena, so what with the X-Games about to go down, off, and up across town the next day it only made sense to sneak a peek to a VIP crowd that could endorse it best. Dickhouse.tv correspondent Shanna Zablow was on the Slim Jim scene to bring you these cutting edge photos from what appears to be an iPhone 4 used in extremely low-light conditions. Thanks, Shanna!

Photos clockwise from upper left: Jeff Tremaine and Shanna bookend Nitro bigwig Gregg Godfrey; Knate Gwaltney, Tremaine, Street Bike Tommy, Tyler Swain and Guch grin big; Bold in black with Steve-O, Tremaine (again!), Jim DeChamp and Johnny Knoxville; Trip Taylor and Erik Roner, outcasts from the Village of the Damned (it's a pupil thing).

And what exactly were people saying after the flick? Let the public Twitter record stand:

@SteveO: I just got home from a screening of Nitro Circus 3D and I'm using a new word, "Flabbergasted". That movie is incredible...

@realjknoxville: Awesome movie, loved it.

@rickkosick: Go see the #NitroCircus3D movie in the theaters on Aug 8th The Jim Dechamp scene was intense!

(Photos by Shanna Zablow; Hollywood, California 2012)

dudesons flashback: the worst idea ever

There are things we do in our life that may not make much sense at the time, or possibly at all, like ever, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. However, that doesn't mean it's a good thing either. It's all shades of gray at best—and no, I don't mean that in a mommy porn way. But what I would call here with Jukka is probably about an 80-percent gray if I had to rate it on a hardcore Zipatone™ scale of 10-to-90 (a zero being absolute white and one-hundred being pure black, if you're not down with old school graphic design lingo). Others, like Mr. Merlin, might only consider it a 40-percent, but he does have a rather skewed take on BDSM in general. The long, short, and shit of it all is that Jukka went yee-haw for the seesaw and still lived to piss out of it. And isn't that all that really matters in the end, anyway?

 

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Los Angeles, California 2009)