If anyone can appreciate a dick drawing it's definitely me. Like, if I suffer penis envy it's usually because I'm green over someone else's phallustrated ween. So it was with several shades of chartreuse that I was turned on to newdaynewdick.com, where none other than Johnny Knoxville was given the deluxe drawn dick treatment on May 6, 2013. You can find him and many other pop-culture, clever, and just plain dicky dicks, all served up on a one-a-day basis by "A Person" for your creative cock consumption.
played live at the El Rey Theater in Los Angeles, California, in a fortuitously plate of shrimp coincidence. Thus ensued a meeting of the meat from all corners of the musty Dickhouse in which much fun and Instagramming was had throughout the Turbo-charged night.
to release into the plumbing wilds of the office, but please feel free to peruse the pics and partake in "I Got A Knife" from de pene gutter fra Norge!
on DVD today!
clearly didn't know about when they went behind the former Iron Curtain of Russia in 2005: It's home to the strongest vagina in the whole wide world! Because if they had known... well... hmm... I don't know. I'm not sure what would have happened. I mean, it's not like the 
. The first, Johnny Knoxville, took a dildo hard—so hard—in the tooth that it did some genuine dental damage; the other, Rick Kosick, willingly sat in the line of dildo bazooka fire in a half-ass yet high-speed camera homage to William Tell's famed apple of yore, and paid a small ice pack price for doing so in the end. Throughout the history of time I am sure there are many other cases of dildos gone or done physical wrong, but this—the case of a 
television show as a "baby mama" to negligent father Johnny Knoxville, her father is an art instructor, and he had a former student that did a portrait of Knoxville. See where this is going? Good, because I lost track—rather bad case of the stupids, you know. Anyway, one person contacted the next, contacted the next, contacted, the next, and the next thing you know 
in 2002. It's a well known fact his tummy doesn't handle south of the border combos that well, and our usual lags in production let him stall out far too long in the danger zone while the hardware store was being scouted and plotted for toilet pranking purposes. Granted, his being tickled and jabbed in the van by a feisty Jeff Tremaine didn't help matters much, and when the backfire came it had both bark and bite, like any well hung and no longer containable shart. Lucky for all Dave was wearing pants then. I mean, can you even imagine the pooey level of devastation had he gone Ol' Faithful while having his gooch stimulated? Talk about pop music, Armageddon, and handbaskets all rolled into hellish one!
