dickhouse

tonight it's jackass 3 on the mtv!

So you've seen the dementia dimensionally, now see it lay pipe on cable. Tonight at 10/9 C the MTV will be premiering jackass 3 in whatever capacity can be done for the first time ever during the course of its latest #MANCATION weekend. We won't be officially tweeting it up live along with the broadcast, but the MTV is running some other kind of promotion where you'll have the opportunity to win random shit for correctly guessing how many nuts get kicked in the course of the #MANCATION event (and if you haven't guessed it by now it's real important to use that hashtag or you ain't gonna have a corn kernel's chance in Dave England's rectal hell of winning jack shit).

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Burbank, California 2010)

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(Artwork by Phobik)

history lesson: the blown away guy

In honor of Ryan Dunn's birthday today, I've held onto this clip that was posted a few weeks ago on the Interweb spotlighting the history behind "the blown away guy" from the Maxell advertisement. This was, of course, the inspiration behind our situating Dunn behind the engine of an Aero L-39 Albatros jet fighter in jackass 3D, so it was nice to see him memorialized in the piece.

We miss you, Ryan. Not a week goes by in the office when you are not quoted warmly and fondly—my personal go-to favorites being, "Who gives a shit?" and "Eat that dick", but "N'awesome" is oft uttered as well.

(Photos by Sean Cliver; Camarillo, California 2010)

eat a dick? ship a dick!

Looking for that special something for that special someone who is all out of dicks and so lost without one? Ship a dick! The latest cardboard craze that's erecting cardboard sensation around the nation. Or something full and chubbed out like that. Despite all Bam-ish brand appearances/proportions from jackass number two, we are in no way affiliated with said dick-shipping company, but when it comes to dicks we have nothing but (butt!) love to share. So whether you prefer them in bowls, buckets, or ye olde ports of classic entry afore and aft, ship a giant cardboard dick today: http://www.shipadick.com/products/

P.S. Double the ribbed pleasure and double down on a quality Dickhouse garment for extra dicky derring-do: http://www.merchmethod.com/dickhouse

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Florida 2006)

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the future is here... and the future is hard!

Not to gangbang a meme, but thanks to the good folks at NASA cock graffiti has launched to a whole new planetary level. Case in celestial point, this sweet penis drawn by one of NASA's two Rover modules tooling about on the surface of Mars. Part of me wonders if the red planet couldn't look any angrier than with this full-blown rager, but another part reflects on the time we sent our own probe to Uranus—well, Bam Margera's anus to be wholly specific.

Should the launch above look significantly different than what you may remember from jackass 3.5, that's because this was our first imperfect emission at delivering a payload into Bam's heavenly body. Apparently there was not enough forward thrust to penetrate his assmosphere, so it was back to the drawing board for a few weeks until a little more oomph could be packed into our pocket rockets. Even then we still had our fair share of limp-shipped misfires, but I hear that happens to every exploration unit at one time or another.

Prefer moon to poon? Have your sights set on Mianus? Explore the sea of tranquility that is not jackass 3.5 on Blu-ray!

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bring that bam beat back

bring that bam beat back

Since yesterday's adventures in the third and possibly close to turd dimension went over so well, here's one last gastric blast from Will the Farter's jackass 3D past. Plus, it keeps up our poo-poo pee-pee throw-up web cred. Anyway, you may now be asking yourself, a pastor, or a Subway sandwich artist, "How exactly did Bam get from Point A to Point C in this image?" The correct answer is a beeline straight from Will's blustery bum to Bam's mouth—utilizing a cigarette as the intermediary link between the two (yes, it does appear to be a pertinent missing link as well, but it's actually inside the styrofoam cup that Danger Ehren is holding up for a closer inspection of the partially eww juice-stained filter). By the by, this very same couch still resides within the hallowed halls of Dickhouse and has probably never received a proper cleaning… just a word to all the wise that have sat and held counsel with Tremaine and Knoxville over the years!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; 2010)

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that magic moment

When Neil Armstrong said, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," I totally know where he was coming from. We felt that exact same worldly sentiment when we boldly embraced the concept of a third dimension and went to the outer limits of our imagination with Will the Farter to plant this flag in cinema history. You know, kind of like how ol' fumble thumbs Moses went up on Mt. Sinai and came back down with the 15 Commandments etched on stone tablets, only we did it with a paltry party favor and a multi-thousand dollar RED camera rig. However, unlike Moses and his second act Exodus, ours was an out of the gate Genesis for jackass 3D in that not only was it the very first thing filmed for the movie, but the first segment in the final feature as well—excluding the opening credits sequence, of course, which was a whole other level of dumb-cum-dimensional pioneering. And, lest you think I dropped a dab of semen back there, think again, because that was nothing short of pure Latin love!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; 2010)

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super bowel sunday and your face

Look, I'm just as lame as all the other companies out there trying to squeeze every ounce of marketing love juice they can get from giving the "big game" a reacharound today, but whatever. I can deal with that. Can your face, though? Preston Lacy's face might be able to, I can assure you that. I mean, how many mugs can take a direct field goal kicking shot—a professional one, mind you—and find a way to turn a quite possibly horrific frown upside down? That's the true meaning of professionalism, if you ask me. Not that you have to, or wanted to, I'm just calling the super game like I see it and that's no bowl of shit. Word.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Winnetka, California 2010)

discounted jackass on itunes this weekend!

In functional conjunction with MTV's "Mancation Weekend" and keeping it short, fat, and to the tuna can point, this weekend you can find the entire jackass catalog on iTunes, including discounts on full seasons. Go to: iTunes.com/Jackass

Bummed on bootlegs and jonesing for authentic jackass apparel? Check out this newly updated selection of clothing articles to hide your boobs, moobs, and regrettable tattoos: http://www.popfanatics.com/search/jackass

(Photo by Sean Cliver; San Pedro, California 2010)

jackass on mtv's "mancation weekend"

Dave Carnie once put the "bromance" in our lexicon, but tonight and tomorrow MTV is putting the brogramming back into effect for its "Mancation Weekend" festivities. I've always been a sucker for official press releases, so lick this for all the fine details:

"Before settling for Sunday’s Pro Bowl, tune in to MTV’s Mancation Weekend on Friday and Saturday. The Kick-Off is 10 PM (EST) Friday with a special presentation of jackass the movie giving viewers the opportunity to live tweet on the air, followed by classic jackass episodes, Walking Tall starring Dwayne Johnson and Johnny Knoxville, and MTV2’s Guy Code.

The second half starts 3 PM (EST) Saturday with the network premiere of DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn, along with healthy helpings of Ridiculousness, Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, MTV2’s Guy Code and another opportunity to live tweet on the air during jackass 3.5 at 10 PM (EST)."

Incidentally, what's funny about the photo above is not merely the fact that Wee Man is kicking himself in the forehead but that a major motion picture is being filmed with a Sony PC-10. Believe me, I'm no camera nerd, but it doesn't take a prosumer to know that this little one chip rig was strictly consumer grade and not meant for big-ass "silver screen" use. That didn't stop our monkey-asses, though, giving further credence to the credo: Don't dream it, be it.

Want more jackass? Get the entire jackass catalog, including discounts on full seasons at iTunes. Go to: iTunes.com/Jackass

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Bithlo, Florida 2002)

tickle the pink friday at dickhouse

Remember the first time you sat down to watch jackass number two and were first suddenly swallowed part, parcel, and package by a great gay gaping maw of rainbows and butterflies? The opening sound effect was what really made that moment special, I think, but admittedly my tendencies do run to the hills screaming for vengeance on queer metal moments. Anyway, while the rest of the world goes black barking mad this Friday, you can bask in the moist warmth that is nothing but pink here at Dickhouse. So run along now and grab one of those neat plastic cards in mom's purse or dad's wallet and let them know you care this Christmastime. Believe me, more family memories have been made watching the poo we've extruded throughout the years than any other boring holiday special to have ever been created in the history of the world. Seriously, like any angel ever received its wings when a bell rang*. What nonsense!

World Famous Dickhouse Apparel

Everyone needs to cover their body with something, right? Well, some people I wish wouldn't cover their body, but then on the other hand I'm glad so many other people do. So to make it all democratic and shit we've got an assortment of torso sheaths to do just the cover up job. With rainbows. And if that wasn't statement maker material enough, we've got the word "dickhouse" in Helvetica Bold just beneath. I mean, Dorothy Gale only wishes a big house of dicks was the one that come down from the skies above to nail the Wicked Witch of the East to the flatlands of Oz! Own one if not more today: merchmethod.com/dickhouse

 

ESPN Films 30 for 30: The Birth of Big Air

Lacking inspiration in life? Look no further than this truly heartfelt production presenting the high-flying life and times of BMX legend Mat Hoffman. Throughout his career, Mat ignored conventional limitations; instead focusing his efforts on the purity of the sport and the pursuit of "what's next." His motivations stem purely from his own ambitions, and even without endorsements, cameras, fame, and fans, Mat would still would be working to push the boundaries of gravity. Spike Jonze and Johnny Knoxville, along with director Jeff Tremaine, showcase the inner workings and exploits of the man who gave birth to "Big Air." (By the way, no true jackass fan's collection is complete without the jackass presents Mat Hoffman's Tribute to Evel Knievel DVD, in which Johnny Knoxville's urethra met its bloody match in the handlebar of a motocross bike.)

 

jackass: the lost tapes

In the online downtime between jackass 2.5 and jackass 3D, we scraped the bottom of the television tape archives and came up with all sorts of segments that went "missing" and never made it onto the jackass DVD box set. The “Self Defense Test,” “Stun Collar,” “Unicycle Poo Barf,” “Fast Food Football,” “Roller Jump,” and “Satan vs. God” (in its original long ass-kicking form!) are just some of the absurd gold that what was once lost but now is found, not to mention all the original jackass show opens and credit/outtake montages. But wait ... there's more! In addition to all the MIA television clips there's loads of bonus never-before-seen footage, including this really special moment when Dimitry Elyashkevich picked a booger from his Russian nostrils and delicately placed it on Sleep-O's mouth—and now it can be yours! Pressed, packaged, produced and preserved for dumb digital eternity.

 

jackass unrated 3-pack

It's hard to believe, but yes, we've been kicking, screaming, laughing and pooping for the past 12 years now. Wow ... when put like that it really sounds like a run of the mill description for any mental patient confined to life in a lunatic asylum circa the early 1900s. Anyway, I think this means we've jumped from one generation to the next—much like the Ebola virus jumping from monkeys to humans in Africa—and in the process picked up a whole slew of newcomers to the world of jackass. For these people there now exists this DVD 3-pack of unrated wonders to behold, cherish and share with loved ones throughout the years. Suck it, Capra!

 

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia

What can I say about the Wild Whites that hasn't been said before? I'm sure there's something of course, but my brain is slowly but surely bowing to the fact it is 3:00am and my stomach is still grinding away the football-sized plate of Thanksgiving food I ingested earlier in the evening. In short, baby's tired and I would happily let anyone put me in a corner just so I could go to sleep and dream a little digestive dream. Yep, there goes the attention span. Oh well. But regardless of whether you're familiar with the cult classic footwork of Jesco White or not, this documentary is sure to open your eyes, drop your jaw and expose you to what director Julien Nitzberg hails as "a portrait of America's last outlaw family."

 

* Okay, except for that time on Beverly Hills 90210 when Clarence helped Miriam out and did that whole cosmic bus collision intervention. That one I totally buy 100-percent.

yester d-day in history: jackass 3D

Hard to believe it has been almost exactly two years ago to the day—well, yesterday, if you want to be a real shit in the mudbutt about it—that we broke all dimensional wind with the release of jackass 3D. Since that time I've posted numerous random bits and pieces taken from the scenes, behind the scenes, and maybe some that shouldn't have ever been seen, so let's go back in time like Marty McFly and shake the archives up to see what bubbles to the surface like an old fashioned bathtub fart, like...

...a day on the racquetball court with nothing but Adam's apple:

http://www.dickhouse.tv/thegolfball

...there's no business like show business and I know business like this business:

http://www.dickhouse.tv/poocano

...rockin' around the clock with Johnny Knoxville and his not so invisible man trick:

http://www.dickhouse.tv/invisibleman

...when two disproportionate men add up to a very sticky 69:

http://www.dickhouse.tv/super69

...one year ago today—almost. But that's what horse shoes and hand grenades are for, right?

http://www.dickhouse.tv/anniversary

...two years ago today—almost. But even a bit further off than the other and who really gives a shit?

http://www.dickhouse.tv/premiere

...and last but not least, we'll always have the memories of "Memories." Cheers!

http://www.dickhouse.tv/memories

(Photo by Sean Cliver; California 2010)

jackass number two premiere on the mtv

This coming Sunday, August 26th, will mark the premiere date for jackass number two to poke its li'l turtle head out on MTV to smear a bit o' the brown on the Moon Man's silver underpants—and it only took six years to do! Sounds unbelievable, I know, but it must be true because someone other than the Internet told me so. The flick fest will air at 9:00pm ET/PT with an immediate encore presentation knocking on the back door at 11:00pm ET/PT. In the event that a few of the guys live-tweet during the initial broadcast, do yourself a following favor and cover your bases with @realjknoxville, @steveo, @prestonlacy, @iamweeman, @daveenglandshit, @BAM__MARGERA, @rickkosick, @dangerehren, and @jackassworld. No guarantees, of course, but who knows... who knows... who knows.

(Photo by Sean Cliver; Hollywood, California 2006)

au revoir london, au revoir london!

Is it just me or does one of the Yo Gabba Gabba characters resemble a French tickler? Whatever the case, whether you're a wide open beaver or an out-of-work Teletubby strung out on glue, I'm signing off from Londontown and leaving on a jet plane this next morning. Admittedly, I didn't get all that far into the UK photo archive as I'd promised (primarily because all of these photos reside in the hands and dusty old boxes of Rick Kosick and Dimitry Elyashkevich), but this next week I'm Euro-bound and have a few rarely seen treats all loaded up and set to blow out my reservoir tip. I did, however, want to share one last pop shot from the jackass 3.5 interview with Bam Margera and Ryan Dunn. I finally crossed the Tower Bridge on foot the other day—twice, in fact, to fully appreciate its spanking new paint job and extra-large Olympic accessories—and it reminded me of the closest time I ever came to wetting my pants in London. Yes, my urethra almost gave it up to Bam and Dunn while watching them deal with the highly uncooperative and rude chair, thus making it one of those memories that will always make me want to go back there. Cheerio!

(Photo by Sean Cliver; London, England 2010)

jackass bingo

It's been a while since I've done something stupid (well, not that long, considering I did recently ask a homeless man where I could find an ATM to withdraw some cash in Charleston, SC), but here's an online stuipd—stuipd?—stupid just for you. Why? Because you are special. A snowflake. A butterfly. That last little turd that hangs on for all its fibrous worth before disengaging to join its big brown brothers below. You get the idea. So here it is: jackass bingo! Simply print it out, pop in a DVD, and play along for no real reason at all in the privacy of your own home, apartment, or squat. No dress code is required to do so, but it is always fun to imagine people watching movies in nothing but their underpants (or, if it's a marathon, in Depends adult diapers).

Fair disclosure: This is by no means an original idea. In fact, I borrowed (stole) the concept after seeing a much more hipster version of it called "Wes Anderson Bingo", but that takes likes smarts and shit to play, whereas this is just dumb and isn't far off from real shit. Plus, because of the sheer amount of crossover content, cast clusterfucks, and peanut galleries galore, queries will surely arise like, "Well, it's throw up and it's Steve-O, so where pray tell do I put my official jackass bingo chip?" In the end, I suggest doing what Jesus would do: Live fast, work with wood, make some fish wine, raise some zombies, and don't leave a beautiful corpse behind. Godspeed and good luck making little to no sense of it!*

* Worst case, you can always tap on the image, print it out, and decorate your refrigerator or toilet lid.